Open Mindedness Increasing With Age

How many others find that their views on sexuality, for yourself and others, runs counter to "conventional wisdom"?

Today, at 55, I am far more accepting of any way another person chooses to (or not to) define their sexuality than when I was in my 20's. Maybe that's because I try to challenge my existing views to respond to new & better information to refine & improve them, and just be a better person.

I've tried to apply that objectivity to the most subjective topic of all: one's own sexuality. Mine has evolved considerably, and I'm fascinated by the fluidity of sexuality in myself and others. Based on hundreds of conversations with other men at similar stages in life, the evidence is strong that changes in sexual desires over time is perceived as more of an exception than it really is.

My curiosity has been through a few stages over the past 35+ years, progressing from at best passing interest in bisexuality to trying to find a compatible companion for exploration. These aren't "exact" ages, and it may be better to think of them as sequential stages in life:

18-25 - Talk about M/M scenarios only if it got GF hot
25-35 - Watch MMF porn and not entirely turned off
+ GOT MARRIED
35-45 - Watch 69/frot vids; published M/M fantasies (erotic fiction)
45-55 - Actively but unsuccessfully sought male FWB

The psychology community says people tend to be more free thinking & acting in their youth and until 1995-2000, I think they were right. The Internet provided us the ability to have TRULY anonymous, interactive conversations for the first time in human history. You can post a story about a true life experience and read how people respond, and no doubt learn that it's among tens of thousands of others...and that's just the small fraction who decided to write about what they did.

Many guys like me have learned that having an increasingly open mind is not unusual, and over time it won't surprise me if we change conventional wisdom to reflect that reality.

Thoughts?

Absolutely correct. I think as we get older we become more accepting of others, realizing that the clock is ticking. Although I knew I was bisexual, leaning gay, I hid it as a teen, and twenties, although I practiced it all the time, even when married to a women.

I think we finally reach a point in life that we no longer worry about what people think of us, and come to terms with who we are. Once we do that, it is easy to understand others.

As we get older we are looking for ways to enjoy ourselves sexually... usually wives lose interest so we look for other ways.. i guess more of us as we are older don't look at jerking or playing with a guy as gay or whatever its just something to enjoy...

Being open minded leads to a more freeing life style.

Agreed. A year ago I never thought I would be interested in jerking with another guy but now, well here I am!

More interested in jerking with a guy now more than ever.

Agree with all the points made. I've always been sexually adventurous and experimented from an early age. For most of my adulthood, I paid too much attention to the social "norms." Now at 50, I'm just completely open to sexual pleasure with whomever....men, women, whomever. Just wish it were easier to find local buds with the same mentality

Regular FWB is the way to go. Don't have to worry about STD's or where the next BJ is going to come from. Better yet, an easy BJ you don't have to work for. Casual, no bs, fast...easy! Also, no one to get mad because you came in their mouth. That's what I am here for!

Same here!

I'd have to agree. In my twenties and thirties I would never have fantasies about guys and their dicks. In my forties watching porn I found I was looking more at the guys cocks than the girl he was fucking. In my early fifties I found adult bookstores and theaters. Well it didn't take long before I was getting my cock sucked when ever I wanted. A few years later I sucked my first cock.

Probably the fact that society has become more open to sexual diversity than age, people wouldn't have even admitted to themselves that they were bicurious in years gone by and would have burried the thoughts as soon as they had them so deep in their subconscious that they forgot they had them until society opened up that now that they can explore them they think their new feelings when in reality they were always there in their subconscious.
I'm heterosexual and never had any curiosity about men but when I was a teen in the 80's homophobia was almost expected in the 90's as I became an adult I just shrugged my shoulders and said live and let live, now I think that 2 people who love eachother should be let marry and everyone should be allowed to explore every aspect of their sexuality

I grew up in a similar era and share the same progression of thoughts. That's why I put this out there. It just seems like over time I am more open to the thought of things that at one point would have in no way made me excited.

This reply hit what I was thinking. With age, my sexuality (hetero) is probably stronger than ever, but I've also become curious about things I've never tried before.

There is a natural hormonal change that happens to men over time. Testosterone levels decrease, our ability to pump it out diminishes. That would lend credence to a natural softness in the common guy. There are many examples of old mean men but where did they start out? There is another dynamic to consider. The consciousness of our species is evolving as more experience is absorbed. Not only are old farts thinking more kindly but the yungins are checking out cock and not being killed for it, like in earlier generations.

Personally, I don't think my sexuality or preferences have changed at all. It's just that now, in my fifties, I am more aware and more accepting of them.