If you're married, I think the biggest barrier is that you can't host - and that you've got a lot to lose if the other guy turns out to be a scammer, or nutcase.

I gave up trying to find a jerk off bud. Seems like most people are turned on at the idea of it but get cold feet when it happens. To many flakes and time wasters out there.

In addition to everything else that's been said, it's a challenge (even online) to find someone whose tastes match yours. I think everyone knows the feeling when a chat partner constantly steers the conversation towards their kink.

I can do #1 and #2 but nobody near me. Live alone, ready to meet.

This. It's fine to suggest, but not to insist. It shows an unwillingness to compromise, to find something you both can get off to. That's a real red flag that you aren't going to get along on other things, too.

Yep. Or even worse the guys that play along pretending to be into your kinks only to waste a lot of time before getting to what they really want (which is usually to see or talk about gay acts).

For me the challenge has been finding a guy who JUST wants to stroke together. Even in the CL days, I'd get guys who would say they were fine with masturbation-only, but then would steer the conversation towards oral or more.

Yup, you guys pretty much summed it up. People say they're interested but then don't reply to messages. Finding a place to meet is a challenge, with a lot of guys being married and can't host. Me personally, I'm not paying for a room for that. You see the same people at all the hookup sites.

This right here. Too much to lose. Plus being in a rural area where everyone knows everyone.

I am also looking but cant host .I have driven 2 hours to meet and it was nice but I need a local. I want to sit and jerk at my pace, its not off the table to have a hand but not much more. I never realized I also have a preference in cocks that I would be jerking with. For now on cam kind of fills the need. Orlando FL. If your the one.

I'm in Chicago, in case anyone else on this thread is in the area.

Have a few jack buds. Always up for a few more. Upstate ny. Not so ez to find a good bud to work our cocks together. Would like it to be a ongoing thing

They are either too sedated by their lust to have a fun conversation with or they are immediately looking to facecam, mic moaning etc. I don't know where you live mate, but you got to show some restraint, not everyone is as open as you.

My difficulty seems to be a few things...

* Guys that are too ready to rush into more than I want, or who are fully gay / bi - not just into curious exploring.

* Hosting - the types of guys I want to JO with tend to be married, and that makes hosting difficult.

Anyone sane in eastern PA that can host and just wants to explore with someone relatively new to it, hit me up.

lot of the problem is this site, they have way to many rules, u cant do anything, u cant even share pics, and they ban u.,