Over the past few years I have gotten into some truly perverted talk, dark web material, in depth conversations with others into similar that I never thought I would ever be into. After enjoying it at the time, masturbating openly, I feel horrible after I ejaculate. It is a vicious cycle that I need to break. I have disturbing conversations that arouse me at the time. And again afterwards wonder why I did that. Anyone else in the same boat?

You're not alone. I'm happy to be a pervert most of the time, but, like you, whilst masturbating or chatting with others, I find lots of things which turn me on, but which disgust me after I've cum. I've always said that the day to worry is the day that the authorities can read our minds. Luckily for me, all that gets wiped after I've cum!

That post cum clarity is bitch. But at least it wears off.

I always feel guilty after a wank

I watched irreversible which had a nasty rape scene I still wanked cos Monica beluccis arse and things were so sexy. I felt like shit after I ejaculated

Must watch that

Glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I suspected a lot of perv masturbators feel the same after they ejaculate. Always up for a chat. Depending if it is pre cum or post cum will decide on the support or encouragement

Really good to have gotten quite a few private messages from you guys in the same boat as me. I welcome them but also like to try to keep this post going. I know the moderator doesnt like when you respond to your own posts. I will try not to. I welcome the encouragement, support, non judgemental chat.

I think it is common to feel guilty after wanking and especially if it is over things you otherwise would not do

I am definitely in alter ego mode when perv chatting - not the real me (I like to think). I enjoy the perv, but have similarly been drawn into chats where I wouldnt normally recognize myself or choose to venture. So the game can be exciting, but the post-match analysis sometimes chastening. PMs welcome

Similar boat here. Relish the excitement of where my mind goes when wanking and great knowing I can share that with others. A great release and reassurance.

Then post wank the decent me comes to the fore and I wrestle with where I have been.

Hasn't stopped me though.

In some ways life would be easier and less complicated if not.

I fucking love all that tho how when we are raging horny and our bollocks full the perv and filth takes over.

Then soon as ur bollocks are empty u feel guilty and ashamed.

Love that in gangbang and dogging type stuff as well cos that makes it so much
more filthy and seedy

Somehow I feel better knowing other guys do and feel the same. Great hearing your stories and great supporting and encouraging each other here

I think it's okay to have fantasies about dark things, as long as it stays just a fantasy. I've fantasized about all kinds of filthy, perverted, and sick things while jacking. And yes, there have been times I felt awful right after I spurted. If it started affecting my mental health I stopped using those thoughts as jerk material. If you find yourself only able to cum if you think about certain unhealthy things then it can be a problem.

I think most of us with dark thoughts when we masturbate would not act on those in real life. We get the guilt or bad feelings after we ejaculate but during we are fine with it and perv over it and indulge our thoughts in it. The polar opposites are what I struggle with. It definitely is an addiction