Hi there,

I am new to the forum and I am a bit embrassed to be posting this. Actually, that's an understatement.

Here goes. I've been a fairly frquesnt masturbator since about 12 or 13. The frequency has varied, sometimes it's been a few times a week, sometimes as much as twice a day on a good day. I jack off for the same reasons anyone else does- I am horny, stress, can't get to sleep, boared, etc.

I've never had a long term relationship before and actually been kind of a loner in that department my enture adult life so far. I realize that's another issue right altogether. But, the deal now is that I am in a budding relationship with a girl that I really like and she's smoking hot. We haven't gotten into the intimacy part yet because she beleives in "taking it slow" a little bit at a time. Again, that's another issue, but I beleive I need to put it in here for some background info. After severa times of seeing her, I feel like I need to masturbate, or when I feel that I miss her and all I can do is think about her (do that all the time anyway), I need to jack off. Lately, it's been like every day, sometimes twice a day. But, now, I find that I can't get hard easily and it takes foreever for to cum. Sometimes I keep trying because it's hard to stop once you start, sometimes I just give up.

My biggest worry is that when the time does come, I won't be ready, like I won't be able to get hard for her and I won't be able to cum when I need to.

What should I do? I thought of maybe reducing the frequency of masturbating and only doing it when I am really horny, not just when I am bored. Would reducing the frequency help and will I be ready for when the time comes (or cums, lol), or does this sound a more serious problem that that?

any advice is appreciated. thanks

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv.

My purely amateur reaction is that it's mental, if not entirely, then primarily.

Sounds to me like, now that you're in, by your description, relatively new territory relationship-wise, that you're psyching yourself out a bit. Then, once a problem begins, it's becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy and feeds itself, as you become concerned about the problem.

My advice: relax. Let things happen as they may. Enjoy your time together (and alone ). And, if the problem persists, see your doctor.

Thanks,

I think I am just going to hold back on the masturbation for a bit and not phych myself out so much, like you said. I think I put too much pressure on myself and I need to ease off. Hopefully that does the trick.

I can remember being in a similar predicament when I was about your age. I was so stressed (first real sexual realtioship) that I couldn't get it up or even cum sometimes.
It was terribly embarrasing, but she was very understanding.
After a bit of fooling aorund together, not getting right to sex, I realxed and voila, we had lift off.
Also jacking in front of her as part of forplay helped relive stress and add an erotic edge to the situation.
On the jacking off, be carefull, if you are as into her as you say. Blue balls are not far behind, relax and wax.

You didn't mention any medications you might be on, but I had a similar experience. My Doc put me on antidepressants, the new one's like Prozac and Lexapro. After a few months of this, I noticed that my erections were soft and rubbery, and no matter how hard and long my wife or I would stoke me, I couldn't cum. I found out that this medicine is also used to help young men delay ejaculation when they were cumming too soon. Just thought I'd mention it as a possible solution, of course stress with cause it as well.

Thanks. The only thing that I sometimes take is a generic sleep aid when I have trouble getting to sleep.