Anyone else in one?

Yes, our sex life was always a bit sporadic, mainly because of her (I was always up fo it).

After we married, dry spells got longer.

After we had kids, she shut off completely for 7 years. Much counselling followed for both of us. She insisted it was all her problem and she'd work on it.

I need more time, I need more space, she'd say. Take all you need, no pressure, I'd say.

Ultimately after all that waiting, she finally announced she thinks we've grown apart and should divorce.

Of course we've grown apart, she hasn't so much as hugged me for years!

So we're divorcing (amicably). I'm still not sure if I'm just not who she wanted, or if I'm a poor lover. (She says I'm a great dad and husband, full of honesty and integrity, blah blah blah. But obviously that's not enough for her).

Anyway, everyone's situations are different, but all I know is my 30s and 40s have been a total waste sexually, what should be prime years I think.

My advice: don't wait forever, if you want it and she doesn't, get out. Life's too damned short.

Sorry for ranting, just sharing how my sexless marriage turned out.

KungFu40

reckon theres a lot of guys in the same situation, alot of us would rather wank to porn these days without the hassle

Same here, married 17 years, no sex last 4. Actually got tired of trying and making every attempt at giving her what she always said would get me what I wanted. Gave up, found that jackin with buds is more fun and a lot less work and always have a hand or my fleshlight around!

any guys out there who aren't bothered their wives know how much they jack off and watch porn?

Sexless marriage here too....but at least my imagination is free to roam.....

I of course am just going through it now, but I sure can't see myself wanting to marry again! Right now I feel like just investing in some good sex toys and enjoying the freedom of bachelorhood! I'll still be a dad half the time, so I'm not going to have the money, time, or energy for a serious relationship anyway.

I already burned 18 years on a marriage, see no reason to do it again.

Its unfortunate, but most women in my days were not sexual. My wife enjoyed sex like one enjoys a cheeseburger, but was not into the carnal animal urges and great release of men. She told me that prior to having her first period she had no sex urges or thoughts, and afterward only got horney when she could conceive. After our children, she had no interest in sex. After a hysterectomy, she got hormone therapy and got some drive, and said now she understood my needs. Even now she only does sex for the most part for me, the only sexual joy she has is when I lick her or finger her, which I am happy to do. But sex is very much optional for her.

Tough one. Married once for a short time. Once the ceremony was over the fun started to dwindle. Crazy how that happens. Not sure why. Interest went down as we became more and more 'typical'. At least while you're dating there was that sense of "what happens next". Where jackin and the imagination took over. Now it's fairly open. I guess as you get older and the objectives change a little of the pressure is off...and you can have fun again. Wont be getting married again...shackin up from here on out.

Is shacking up any different? In Canada, after a year you're considered married anyway, as far as the law is concerned.

I WAS in one, and it was awful. Seemed like I kept waiting for things to get better, but honestly, divorce attorneys get more expensive all the time. With the benefit of hindsight, I should have dumped the bitch after the first month she turned into a fridgidaire. Anyway, I have a good marriage now, wonderful in every possible way.

Women aren't all that different from men. They might like to play that they can get withdrawn to one and all, but they need affection just the same as we do. We might like ours more on the blowjob side of the spectrum, but if they're not interested in affection at all, they're getting it somewhere else.

This whole conversation explains, exactly why I would rather watch porn and jack off, than fuck. I have been married twice and they both ended badly and very quickly. All the same crap. "I was a good guy but they just needed more" Blah Blah Blah.
Then they hired asshole lawyers and fucked me for all they could. My advice is " Never get Married"! Just fuck them when you can and watch porn and jack off when you can't.

;0

Hey guys,

Thanks for sharing. My wife pretty much shut off after our second child. In the last ten years we've fucked maybe twice. She even got me to get viagra since I wouldn't get hard for her. No problem getting hard to jack though.
I know there's other guys out there doing the same thing and we need to get to know each other, so keep writing.

rodsmith,

You too huh?

After 7 years of no sex (also no hugs, kisses, or handholding), my wife told me she wanted to have sex again. And we tried a few times, and I too had trouble getting and keeping a good erection. I didn't want to try Viagra, as I had no trouble getting it up when masturbating.

I talked to my psychologist about it, and she said it was totally understandable. By denying me sex for 7 years straight, she was denying my masculinity completely (my shrink's words).

Now I don't give a lot of thought to how 'manly' or masculine I am; I just am who I am.

But, I agree: you deny me sex for 7 years, which tells me one of 2 things:

1. You don't want or enjoy sex

2. You want / enjoy sex, just not with me

Either way, after 7 years of this you suddenly tell me you want it, don't be suprised if I don't believe you! I have a hard time getting it up if I think you don't want my cock inside you. And you're surprised? Talk about mixed signals!

I have no guilt about it, I've always told her the truth, while her reasons for wanting to divorce seem to keep changing. I don't even care why anymore, I just can't wait till she moves out (should be by May at the latest).