I wanted to discuss the oft photographed, much discussed, but as of yet untried by myself, the humble cucumber.

I'm curious, has anyone actually used one to masturbate (that is anyone here, I know that it has indeed happened in the history of the world.) How is it?

Early in our marriage, my first wife used one at least 3 times while I watched. The first time happened while I was on the phone. She came in wearing only a t shirt, playfully groped my crotch, licked my ear, and went into the kitchen. She returned with the cucumber and sat in a chair in the livingroom, legs pulled up, heels on the edge of the chair, her pussy exposed. She began toying with herself, stroking her lips, jiggling her clit, then began running the cucumber up and down between her lips. I'm afraid I lost track of the phone conversation at this point. She began to slowly dip the cucumber in and out, little by little it was worked well up into her. Not long after this occured I was able to disengage myself from the telephone. In all honesty, I never saw her have an orgasm using the cucumbers, it was always a prelude to being replaced by my face between her thighs!!! She did attempt this with a bananna once, and it didnt work well. And some other time I will tell about her feeding me popcorn, one piece at a time, from her....well, you might not want to hear about that right now.

Slightly off topic... have used a cucumber on myself (anal), was ok, nothing special. Much prefered the microwaved watermelon I was also doing Re-enacted the Monica-cigar episode once. She didnt smoke, enuff nicotine soaked thru to get her a little buzzed and set her pussy totally afire - not In a good way. I smoked it afterwards, the cigar taste overwhelmed her PJ.
I think in general... fingers, tongues, penises, hands, feet... the dynamic and warm tends to outweigh the static and cold

Id think it depends on size (length and girth) and temp, and wash all the damn wax and hairs off of it. Do you warm it or refrigerate it? Ive seen hints that certain squashes may be much more fun - the shape is more variable and so less monotonous. Butternuts seem to be a favorite...

The topic title of this thread made me laugh. Just sayin'.

Several times. Loved it.

That is a cute little ass!

Well yes I have, but not up my ass!!
I've holllowed one out and put my cock into it - pretty awesome experience I have to say, especially if it's warmed a little in the microwave 1st!

when I was younger, I was with an older woman and she liked me and treated me well, because since I was new, I didnt have the aggressive rushed attitude like other men and we started masturbating together and reading books about it and she would bring porn in once in a while and we discovered Dildoes.... at the time there was very little mention of this... 40 years ago, and she started with a Cucumber I remember because she liked shopping for them and choosing the size.... she did go looking at the Adult store for them though and gave them up for the rubber,,, but I remember she was pretty serious about it, almost like a Sport

In puberty I discovered early on that I enjoyed anal stimulation, about the same time I found that I enjoyed the feel of wearing my stepmothers panties. At first I used a carrot. When I was about 14 I graduated to a cucumber and soon experienced my first anal/prostate orgasm.

I'd love to be your cucumber.