At a primal level, we as men we are programmed to spread our seed, which I feel girls don't always understand. For example, if a hot girl walks past our natural inclination is to check them out as a potential mate, or potential fuck. Secondly, we watch porn to feed our sexual appetite and to enable us to release some sexual energy. These seem like two things that girls (and society) frown upon - as though we are doing them just to be 'dirty' or because we are 'sex obsessed'.

Does anyone else feel like society doesn't understand that these are things we inherently need to do? Or am I alone here?! I don't like to be made to feel guilty for these very natural and enjoyable things.

To be clear, I do not flaunt these things either, I'm discreet but still feel a level of guilt.

I suppose some people 'control' these urges more than others, but everyone has different levels of sexual energy, and indeed different appetites.

I'd be interested in your thoughts on this, as it's something that I have thought about a bit lately.

From a genetic standpoint you are right, males in most species are programmed to spread their seed as much as possible because of the low fertilization rate (when compared to females). So we are attracted to large breats and wide hips. But if you want to be fair females are programmed to be cautious with their egg which is why even though they might be as horny as guys dont always have sex. So yea our alternative is jacking of since society has changed or affected our natural instincts

men are genetically designed to spread the seed, you are correct. women on the other hand are genetically designed to find the strongest hunter/gatherer. we need to release this energy. its actually healthy and good for you. the worst thing you can do is feel guilty about it. I'm lucky to have a wife who understands this. she knows men look at women. if a hot chick walks by and you dont look its like lying. lol. my wife actually points out boobs and cleavage to me in malls and stores. she'll text me and tell me I need to see something in the aisle she's in. lol. dont be afraid, just stroke it!

Women aren't as chaste as you think.
More than 30 years of subsequent research has confirmed Hrdy’s findings and expanded on them to reveal that females in many primate species, humans included, engage in a diversity of sexual strategies to enhance their overall reproductive success. For example, in saddle-backed tamarins, females will solicit sex from multiple males who will each help to care for her offspring.* Female mouse lemurs will mate with up to seven males during a single night. Capuchin monkeys will seek out mating opportunities in the early stages of their pregnancy, presumably to confuse males about paternity. And bonobo females will have sex with everybody at pretty much any time they feel like it.
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/12/female_promiscuity_in_primates_when_do_women_have_multiple_partners.html

All good points. Most girlfriends I have had have not had a problem with it actually, which is awesome.

I suppose I am also partly bummed by it - one minute you are trying hard to concentrate, and the next a hot girls walks by and nothing else matters! BOOM, what was I doing?!?!

We understand well enough how men and women have different reproductive strategies and thus different priorities regarding sex and relationships. The real question is why many women / society have trouble accepting the "male approach." For women there is no doubt some jealousy involved; we do not give our sexual attention equally and let's be honest, most women are not centerfold material. The idea that one woman should be enough to satisfy a man's libido is sheer egotism on her part. There is also an uneasy sense of cheapness that comes from watching your partner engage in superficial sexuality, the feeling that his interest in you could be just as shallow and exploitative. Ultimately men are frowned upon because sex itself is frowned upon, but that issue deserves a thread of its own.

Don't be ashamed my friend. And don't feel like you need to justify it either. Its perfectly normal. Before pornography was available there were brothels in every town. My wife used to get offended so I convinced her to let me fucking her every time sex crossed my mind. Needless to say after a week she backed off and let me have my private time in the bathroom. Lol, she realized that the male sex drive is too strong. Stroke as much as you see fit.

All great responses. Love hearing the truth about men from other men! We must keep jerking and never apologize for it!

From a woman's perspective, may I?

I've been in serious committed relationships and have still been attracted to other people. I've still felt those urges. I've fantasized and longed for that "brand new" feeling. Sexual excitement can often wear off for anybody. There may be more of a biological force for men, but women still experience what you've described.

I think what men often don't understand about women is this. I've been cheated on and a sexual affair doesn't bother me as much as an emotional affair. I almost don't care if you want to fuck another woman. Sure my pride might be wounded because I feel like I should be doing my job well enough, but deep down I am really ok. Chances are I've thought about other men at some point. What women don't want to lose is the emotional connection and sex often threatens that. That's where our jealousy factors in.

Ultimately I want my partner to come to me for all of his needs. I don't want him to seek out another woman, or man for that matter. But that's completely unrealistic. I'd be lying through my teeth if I said it doesn't turn me on to think about my partner with another man or masturbating by himself, even if he is thinking about another woman. We are all flawed sexual beings and morality can be an equal struggle for both genders.

my opinion is this: If my man is satisfying my sexual needs and still has enough energy to want to masturbate and watch porn more power to him, go ahead and the challenge is for me to not leave him with the energy to do so

woke up today with a raging hard on. Wife said " It's your's" SCRORE!!!!!!

Great discussion.

It's funny I have had some girlfriends who have no issues with me masturbating, and others feel like its an affront to them i.e. they feel like they aren't doing their job in the bedroom!

I think even if I am in a loving exclusive relationship, I will always still want to have some 'me' time. It's completely different to being with someone obviously.

Although I did once have a girlfriend who said to me - ANYTIME you want a BJ let me know and I will do it, and she really meant it. Most of my days started with her lip service and I have to say that stopped most of my 'me' time whilst we were together!

The Burden of being a man...whoever designed the blueprint must have been a woman (or had a wicked sense of humour)

In a woman the recognised G-Spot, is at the front of the body, so it can be reached herself, or by another.

In Man its the Prostate...!!!--Nuff said....

I don't think masturbation is a problem unless you start neglecting your partner. If masturbation becomes your primary form of sex in a relationship then I could see why a woman might get upset or concerned.

I had a boyfriend that did not understand why I just wanted to masturbate myself once. I started masturbating while he was over and wasn't really interested with the act of sex that particular day. I thought maybe he would just masturbate with me, but he didn't comprehend and got offended. So again this goes both ways.

As far as porn, I'd watch with or at least be understanding. I watch porn now so I cannot imagine denying somebody that.