Have a talk with her boyfriend and bring two things:
1.A box of condoms.
2.A loaded shotgun.
Tell him if he shoots a load in her and gets her pregnant,you'll shoot a load of buckshot at his junk.

We have talked with her about sex, relationships, and "where babies come from" while she was growing up, different stages for her understanding/maturity, but haven't touched on masturbation or oral sex hardly at all. My wife has done the bulk of this, partly because she's a medical practitioner and it includes periods and women's info, which I'm not a good source for. We don't talk with her, or treat her, as a child any more.

We would like her to wait to have sex until she's older, but that didn't work out too well, hence the posting here to get opinions about other options. On that note, thanks for the responses. I mentioned the book option because it may be more comfortable for her to read about sexual variations, like masturbation (solo or mutual) and oral from a book rather than her parents.

Advice from dad-to-son or mom-to-daughter still gets eye rolls but I think goes down easier.

Great things a mom (or dad) can say
"You're not that unusual, all adults deal with sex all our lives. Here's some things you need to know"
"About half of all condoms are bought by women. Think about that. Here are some, here is where I'll keep them and no I don't count them."
"I masturbate because it feels good. Grandma never talked about it except to make us feel guilty, but it's normal and just put stuff in the wash when you need to."
Talk about the facts about STDs -- girls scare a lot more easily about what pregnancy means than boys do -- talk about alcohol and being drunk and party drugs also, if they are crossing one limit they will be crossing others.

You want your kids to be able to fly on their own when they leave the nest, but watching them take the first trial flights can be nerve wracking.

Well fellow I have to say this much, your all good parents, caring enough to be concerned about your children, I am just an old Uncle here, see many things over my 66 years on this earth. Never had any kids of my own, but sure would loved to have had some to share in my life as an adult.
Seen several of my nephews and nieces they done pretty good, a couple parents were strick and overly religious, the kids turn out with just a few problems here and there, my other side the fily had a few slip ups a baby or two was out of wedlock. They along comes great nieces, parents wrapped up in there selves and partying to much, the young kids were left to go their own way, this generation missed the boat completely, these kids were turning to older kids there learning all about the sex from porn off the Internet at very young ages, these kids were sneaking around and drinking, smoking pot, going to sleep over sex parties, where they was a wide range in ages, to side for a young girl to be attending. Well once I figured out what was taking place I sent to a grandmother and her thing to say to me, kids will be kids, and they need to exspearment with sex things all the time.
I was so schocked, and I knew if there was anything said to the parents they would believe it or would beat her within inch's of her life.
So nothing was ever done and at age 17 this little girl mothered a small pre-mature boy in July.
I just say to the parents that love their children enough to set them down and be truthfully with them and answer any and all questions my hat goes off to you. Good job!!

From a guy in the younger generation, I lost my virginity at 16, girlfriend 15...and by 16 she asked me if I wanted to try anal...I am not trying to worry you as a mother, but definitely just teach her to be safe and use a condom every time, even with her boyfriend

Your story tells a lot. Well said.

Thanks marriedboner,
It does a fellow good to recieve a kind word now and then. As an Uncle I know that parenting in these times we live in can't be easy, but kids know much more than they key on. Smarter than whips they are, I have lived to see my nephews and nieces, grow from cradle to marriage and turned out pretty darn good, now the great nephews and nieces are coming up through the ranks, there are do many out there that are on their own any more, easily misguided and with Internet to learn from kind of misleads so many of them, put it all boils down to good parents and better pier groups for them to hang out with, plus guidelines to live by.
My hat goes off to each and all.

Fred, If you brought your daughter up correctly, she would have made an informed correct decision, nothing you or your wife could / would have said will change the fact that she is going to have sex. Hopefully as in my country, the youth has been bombarded by the keep it safe stuff, and are "scared stiff" of the whole AIDS and teenage pregnancy thing.
As parents we can hope, and I'm sure that our parents felt the same, that all the necessary precautions were and are been taken.
Don't preach or talk down to the couple, but support your child in every way, encourage her to be what she wants and hopefully you will have a wonderful relationship with her, and talk about anything under the sun.
Please don't embarrass her and buy any type of sex toy, just love and trust her judgement, your work in her upbringing will hopefully bear fruit. Best of luck

My wife and I have talked with both of them. He has talked with his parents about it too. He was scared of talking with his parents, but everything went okay.

We haven't done anything more than talk with them. It was something they wanted to do. They know about using condoms and the risk involved with sex and their future and that sort of thing.

Serious topic and not many posts.
As a Christian you can guess where I stand - sex is for your spouse AND yourself (masturbation).

My parents as Christians taught that sex, sexuality and masturbation are gifts from God, part of who we are as humans. Thinking about sex is natural and is designed to draw us to each other, but is also is powerful and open to abuse, that is why God set limits for partner sex to be within marriage, And also why he gave us masturbation, as a healthy expression of sexuality.

So I did as my parents did, I taught and encouraged their masturbation, it worked for me, so far it is working for them too.

This is an old post and my daughter is now almost 18. She has never had a boyfriend and never had sex. She says she doesn't want to have sex. She has said that mostly her friends "sext" and mutually masturbate. She said several of her friends are "dating" people in other countries that they have never met.

It's a very different world that when I was a teenager.