Hey everyone.

So I posted a question about being manogomas and bisexual in the rainbow room and pretty much everyone agreed that doing anything behind my gf's back (dispite her being insanley close minded about ANY other sexual act) disrespectful. I decided that in order to feel guilt free I need to have a clear conscience about who I am, the problem is my GF is very conservative so I feel like she may not understand my situation and freak out.

My gf grew in a very traditional family and I dont want to lose her over somethibg stupid but now that its been a few years my urges have gotten worse and worse, how do I break it to my gf about these (somewhat new) urges U cant stop?

The best thing is just to be honest and deal with whatever happens. You will not be happy if you can't be yourself.

I'm in the same boat. My GF is not a fan of FUDGE-PACKERS, as she calls guys who are into guys. I can never tell her I'm Bi, without ruining our relationship. I haven't been with a guy during our relationship, over five years now, and if/when, I find a guy that I can be comfortable with, I will not tell her, ever. It's hell, living in both worlds, and having to keep them separate, but sometimes that's the way it has to be. Good luck,and I hope all goes well for you. PM me if you'd like to chat more, sometimes it helps just to know you have a kindred spirit, someone that will listen, understand, and not judge you.

Having to keep secrets from your SO is total hell. I can't even admit that I'm at all interested in sex of any kind at all. It's a completely taboo subject around the house. The irony is, that the more I have to hide it all, the more I get into it and I'm not sure it is always healthy.

My opinion is that people should just get it out there and deal with the consequences. I don't practice what I preach though.

Be a fucking man and keep this to yourself. Don't expect her to understand and relate, unless she is also bi, she won't.

You will do more harm by telling her your secret. This is yours to carry, so man the fuck up, and carry it.

Personally speaking, I never wish to burden my wife with my bisexual desires.

DON'T TELL HER

Gosh, that is harsh... but I've got to agree with this!! (tough love baby!)

I know the guilt sucks, but to wreck her with it just to rid yourself of guilt is selfish. I agree with guilt-free living, but the way to that is go into the relationship with your girl knowing, not spring it up to her after she has invested five years. If thought she may be OK and with it then chance it and tell her, but as you are telling it you are fairly sure she will freak, so keep it to yourself. If the relationship ends because of something else, then when you start a new one make sure she knows from the start (another topic for how, I am sure)... sorry bud, it comes with the territory...

Buddy only you can decide if telling her is best for you and the relationship. I'm a married bi guy, I've been playing around with guys about 10 years. My wife knows nothing, at times, carrying this secret is tough, it's hard work but it is the only way for me. Others may question and deal with this differently, but there is too much at stake for me to open up about this. So, I play when I can and protect my secret - it isn't easy and many times I'm having that need and can't make it work, not because I don't want to - but because the time or place isn't right. I agree with another guy here who said, if this one ends, go into the next one honest and up front. I wish I'd been honest with myself about this 20 years ago before we married. I was in total denial about my own sexuality and married, because I loved her and because it was the "right" thing to do. Having to do it all over again, I'd probably do it differently. That said, you're young - do what is right for you. Also, I wish I'd had the balls to admit to being bi when I was your age man, good for you. I'm an open book if you want to PM me.

Whether you're bi or straight, going behind her back is out of order anyway.
There are limited options available to you.
The first is to say nothing, never again have sex with other guys and go about your relationship with your girlfriend.
Or, tell her about your situation (not necessarily tell her you've been unfaithful) and hope she appreciates your honesty and trust in telling her, but possibly risking your relationship.
The last option is to carry on as you have been, say nothing, and risk her finding out in the future.

Out of these, I think the last one would be the worst choice.
But that's just my opinion.

Think on this.
You are boyfriend and girlfriend, not husband and wife.
If you let this carry on into marriage, then you'll have left it far too long.
Better say something and risk your relationship NOW, rather than wait until after you're married (assuming marriage is on your minds at all)

You know what, ( not to be an ass) but fuck it do what you like and if you have to do it with out telling her then do it

I agree with Steve and would like to add
This will only get worst as time goes by. You are not married, yet. Don't wait till then for her to find out. If she loves you and wants the relationship to survive, she will reconcile it in her mind. If she can't understand, you will be free to be yourself and ultimately have a MUCH BETTER LIFE. there are many men and women out there that can appreciate "bi". If your current gf can't, Go find one of them. Ultimately it's your life and your happiness you need to focus on. It's a long life find your way to enjoy the ride.

What shitty advice! As if hiding who he is makes him more of a man.

Bullshit.

Take the advice of those who said be honest now before it's too late. It may hurt but it's worse than living a lie and a double life. There are so many girls out there that could accept it, maybe even the one you're with now. But you'll never know until you really 'man up' and express your feelings honestly.

Tell her and deal with what happens. Yes, you may lose this relationship, but maybe you'll find something better. You only get one life - do you want to spend the next 50/60 years pining for what might have been?

I've been with the same woman 20 years. She is no where near as sexually adventurous as I am. I love her, but if I had it to do over again, I'd find a woman who was supportive of my sexual desires. Sneaking around is not fun, and you stand the chance of hurting not only yourself, and your significant other, but also any kids you have along the way.

There are plenty of freaky women out there. I'd be honest with your GF and if she breaks up with you then she doesn't really love YOU, she loves who she thinks you are.

Trust me...DON'T GET TRAPPED in a relationship where you have to sneak around and lie. It's not fun.

Thanks so much for everyones replys, I reallllly appraciate everyones advice.

The older i get the morw I admire those who have been married for years and years, it feels like im in a constant rate of change and the person I am now is not at all the person I was 5 years ago and surely not the person I will be 5 years from now. It honestly feels like i was just wearing a mask that i was forced to wear out of fear from society. The older I get the more loose the mask becomes and the more I just want to say fuck it I am who I am and deal with it. The huge issue is I feel like unintentionally roped my gf into this giant charade of who i thought i was or who i "wanted" to be. The old bait and switch lol.

Its so refreashing to know that there are alot of people in the same boat as me, over the last 5 years I have one by on reveled the skeletons in my closet but this one ips by far the darkest and prob most repressed. The advice here has helped me a ton, I WILL tell her before I get married and if shes not ok with it then I guess I just have to carry on with my journey and find soneone who is.