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That mask you speak of is very real man.... I wore that last for years on my own as I wasn't able to admit even to myself my sexuality. Now, I wear the mask to everyone else because society has me in it - and to remove it comes with too much pain and damage to too many people. High 5 for being honest with yourself and your gf (when you're ready) about the mask. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness. Should you want to talk about it, feel free to PM me.
Unregistered 
1cumwithme1 said:
Thanks so much for everyones replys, I reallllly appraciate everyones advice.
The older i get the morw I admire those who have been married for years and years, it feels like im in a constant rate of change and the person I am now is not at all the person I was 5 years ago and surely not the person I will be 5 years from now. It honestly feels like i was just wearing a mask that i was forced to wear out of fear from society. The older I get the more loose the mask becomes and the more I just want to say fuck it I am who I am and deal with it. The huge issue is I feel like unintentionally roped my gf into this giant charade of who i thought i was or who i "wanted" to be. The old bait and switch lol.
Its so refreashing to know that there are alot of people in the same boat as me, over the last 5 years I have one by on reveled the skeletons in my closet but this one ips by far the darkest and prob most repressed. The advice here has helped me a ton, I WILL tell her before I get married and if shes not ok with it then I guess I just have to carry on with my journey and find soneone who is.
Thanks so much for everyones replys, I reallllly appraciate everyones advice.
The older i get the morw I admire those who have been married for years and years, it feels like im in a constant rate of change and the person I am now is not at all the person I was 5 years ago and surely not the person I will be 5 years from now. It honestly feels like i was just wearing a mask that i was forced to wear out of fear from society. The older I get the more loose the mask becomes and the more I just want to say fuck it I am who I am and deal with it. The huge issue is I feel like unintentionally roped my gf into this giant charade of who i thought i was or who i "wanted" to be. The old bait and switch lol.
Its so refreashing to know that there are alot of people in the same boat as me, over the last 5 years I have one by on reveled the skeletons in my closet but this one ips by far the darkest and prob most repressed. The advice here has helped me a ton, I WILL tell her before I get married and if shes not ok with it then I guess I just have to carry on with my journey and find soneone who is.
Best of luck to you!!
I don't think I got that mask taken off till my mid 30's.
Check out my porn blog at https://slostroker.bdsmlr.com/ and my writing blog at https://slostroker.wordpress.com or catch me on Skype as SloStroker
1cumwithme1, I know I was harsh with my opinion, and I meant no disrespect. Just know that MOST women are NOT going to have open arms and a smile on their face when told this sort of thing. If you really need to get this monkey off your back by telling her, be prepared. She could go either way. Even if she says she can deal with it, she may not be able to actually do so.
Good luck dude.
Good luck dude.
Focker said:
Even if she says she can deal with it, she may not be able to actually do so.
Even if she says she can deal with it, she may not be able to actually do so.
Yep!
My wife told me early on in our relationship before we were married that she didn't care if I had cybersex with women on Internet chat. A few times I she participated with me. It was all fun and games. Then about a year after we were married, she went off on me and told me that I was "cheating" on her with other women because I was having an "emotional" affair. She said it always bothered her be she thought she would get over it, but never could.
So...I stopped chatting online. Well, at least that she knows about.
Check out my porn blog at https://slostroker.bdsmlr.com/ and my writing blog at https://slostroker.wordpress.com or catch me on Skype as SloStroker
Unregistered
Focker said:
Be a fucking man and keep this to yourself. Don't expect her to understand and relate, unless she is also bi, she won't.
You will do more harm by telling her your secret. This is yours to carry, so man the fuck up, and carry it.
Personally speaking, I never wish to burden my wife with my bisexual desires.
I agree. Besides, it's a matter of time before she does something herself, straight or otherwise. No real reason to have a guilty conscience about taking care of business. After all, we are each ultimately alone in our individual journeys thru this incarnation, so take advantage of all hedonic opportunities presented.
DON'T TELL HER
Be a fucking man and keep this to yourself. Don't expect her to understand and relate, unless she is also bi, she won't.
You will do more harm by telling her your secret. This is yours to carry, so man the fuck up, and carry it.
Personally speaking, I never wish to burden my wife with my bisexual desires.
I agree. Besides, it's a matter of time before she does something herself, straight or otherwise. No real reason to have a guilty conscience about taking care of business. After all, we are each ultimately alone in our individual journeys thru this incarnation, so take advantage of all hedonic opportunities presented.
DON'T TELL HER
Well it's for sure that there are a lot of us in this very same boat so to speak. I have kept my feeling under wraps for years now, just since I become a member here on J/C site I was still in the closet about my sex feelings, only at times way I able to stick my head out of the door to have a few free minutes with someone if they showed any interests in me. Hissing away like this can sure eat away at you so much, but bring able to open up and be free to say what feels good sure has helped me out so much.
Thanks to those that share the same confessions and hope you find a good friend to open up with, believe me it does help.
Thanks to those that share the same confessions and hope you find a good friend to open up with, believe me it does help.
Carpntr
One thing that I haven't seen yet here is regarding the consequences of telling her, or any woman really. They talk. If you don't want anyone else to know either telling her would be tricky. I'm in a simular boat, id like to talk about it but don't think it would go over well at all.....and would she tell all her friends? Mutual friends?I don't know what the answer is but I would keep that in mind as well.
Name
It's dangerous territory. When I was newly in a relationship with my wife, and contemplating marriage, I wanted to tell her I was bi. Those words didn't come out then, because she had shared something else very private and personal to me, with her sister. I feared she would tell that too. So I felt I just couldn't.
Several years later, she was on to me, and confronted me about some of my activities. I was honest and forthcoming at that point, although didn't tell her every last detail. It resulted in ending our marriage. She expressed the main feeling that it was the breakdown of honesty, rather than specifically the content of what I should have told her.
So my advice, is be very very careful. My wife and I have remained good friends since the divorce, and I think the final period of the divorce, and continuing to live together for a few months after until her house was ready, was just very business like, with issues to work through to complete the separation.
She knows and has met my "friend", and we talk about stuff once in awhile. We remain very close friends, and help each other out now and then, house monitoring, dog duty, etc.
Your experience may vary.
Several years later, she was on to me, and confronted me about some of my activities. I was honest and forthcoming at that point, although didn't tell her every last detail. It resulted in ending our marriage. She expressed the main feeling that it was the breakdown of honesty, rather than specifically the content of what I should have told her.
So my advice, is be very very careful. My wife and I have remained good friends since the divorce, and I think the final period of the divorce, and continuing to live together for a few months after until her house was ready, was just very business like, with issues to work through to complete the separation.
She knows and has met my "friend", and we talk about stuff once in awhile. We remain very close friends, and help each other out now and then, house monitoring, dog duty, etc.
Your experience may vary.
Unregistered
I'm surprised people are saying don't tell her. It is part of you and will be difficult to hide forever. Plus its lots of hiding etc. I told my gf and she was absolutely fine with it. We have incorporated it into our sex life and it has been absolutely incredible. Strap-ons are fun.
PM me is you want to discuss more in private.
PM me is you want to discuss more in private.
I was married once before. I told my then-wife once that I was curious about sexual activity with other men. I figured it would be ok since she had been with a girl a few times.
Nope, she didn't like it at all and had an anxiety attack. It took her like a week to get over it.
You really have to be careful.
Nope, she didn't like it at all and had an anxiety attack. It took her like a week to get over it.
You really have to be careful.
I'm just a guy
Uncutcummer said:
I agree with Steve and would like to add
This will only get worst as time goes by. You are not married, yet. Don't wait till then for her to find out. If she loves you and wants the relationship to survive, she will reconcile it in her mind. If she can't understand, you will be free to be yourself and ultimately have a MUCH BETTER LIFE. there are many men and women out there that can appreciate "bi". If your current gf can't, Go find one of them. Ultimately it's your life and your happiness you need to focus on. It's a long life find your way to enjoy the ride.
I agree with Steve and would like to add
This will only get worst as time goes by. You are not married, yet. Don't wait till then for her to find out. If she loves you and wants the relationship to survive, she will reconcile it in her mind. If she can't understand, you will be free to be yourself and ultimately have a MUCH BETTER LIFE. there are many men and women out there that can appreciate "bi". If your current gf can't, Go find one of them. Ultimately it's your life and your happiness you need to focus on. It's a long life find your way to enjoy the ride.
Im gonna go out on a limb and concur. Better to settle the issue now before more time is invested into it. I had a long chat with one of my ex boyfriends as we considered reconciling and we tried to lay out some ground rules regarding our interactions. We're both big play boys but we know we love each other. That being said we agreed that if we started dating again that honesty would be the best option as to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings. Furthermore, isnt love about loving the person YOU ARE...NOT THE PERSON she wants you to be ??
Are you man enough to ride this ride ?
Unregistered
All I can tell you is, people will often surprise you. When I met my wife she was 19 and had grown up a strict Southern Baptist. I knew I loved her and she loved me and I didn't want to keep any secrets from her. And I didn't want to go through life trying to hide who I was so, on our second date I told her that I was bisexual and she told me she didn't care. She loved me, that's part of who I am and she wouldn't change it. She was thankful that I shared it with her. We've been married for 26 years, have 6 kids and our life is wonderful. She doesn't mind if I have a buddy to have some male to male fun with. She enjoys using a strap on on me and we have a better sex life and more active sex life than just about anyone we know and share those details with. We have been asked several times in the last year if we are newlyweds.
I'm not going to tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. But as for me, I cannot imagine hiding that whole side of your sexuality and life from someone you pledge to spend your whole life with.
I'm not going to tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. But as for me, I cannot imagine hiding that whole side of your sexuality and life from someone you pledge to spend your whole life with.
Unregistered
RexM said:
All I can tell you is, people will often surprise you. When I met my wife she was 19 and had grown up a strict Southern Baptist. I knew I loved her and she loved me and I didn't want to keep any secrets from her. And I didn't want to go through life trying to hide who I was so, on our second date I told her that I was bisexual and she told me she didn't care. She loved me, that's part of who I am and she wouldn't change it. She was thankful that I shared it with her. We've been married for 26 years, have 6 kids and our life is wonderful. She doesn't mind if I have a buddy to have some male to male fun with. She enjoys using a strap on on me and we have a better sex life and more active sex life than just about anyone we know and share those details with. We have been asked several times in the last year if we are newlyweds.
I'm not going to tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. But as for me, I cannot imagine hiding that whole side of your sexuality and life from someone you pledge to spend your whole life with.
All I can tell you is, people will often surprise you. When I met my wife she was 19 and had grown up a strict Southern Baptist. I knew I loved her and she loved me and I didn't want to keep any secrets from her. And I didn't want to go through life trying to hide who I was so, on our second date I told her that I was bisexual and she told me she didn't care. She loved me, that's part of who I am and she wouldn't change it. She was thankful that I shared it with her. We've been married for 26 years, have 6 kids and our life is wonderful. She doesn't mind if I have a buddy to have some male to male fun with. She enjoys using a strap on on me and we have a better sex life and more active sex life than just about anyone we know and share those details with. We have been asked several times in the last year if we are newlyweds.
I'm not going to tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. But as for me, I cannot imagine hiding that whole side of your sexuality and life from someone you pledge to spend your whole life with.
Well said. Hear hear!
RexM said:
All I can tell you is, people will often surprise you. When I met my wife she was 19 and had grown up a strict Southern Baptist. I knew I loved her and she loved me and I didn't want to keep any secrets from her. And I didn't want to go through life trying to hide who I was so, on our second date I told her that I was bisexual and she told me she didn't care. She loved me, that's part of who I am and she wouldn't change it. She was thankful that I shared it with her. We've been married for 26 years, have 6 kids and our life is wonderful. She doesn't mind if I have a buddy to have some male to male fun with. She enjoys using a strap on on me and we have a better sex life and more active sex life than just about anyone we know and share those details with. We have been asked several times in the last year if we are newlyweds.
I'm not going to tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. But as for me, I cannot imagine hiding that whole side of your sexuality and life from someone you pledge to spend your whole life with.
All I can tell you is, people will often surprise you. When I met my wife she was 19 and had grown up a strict Southern Baptist. I knew I loved her and she loved me and I didn't want to keep any secrets from her. And I didn't want to go through life trying to hide who I was so, on our second date I told her that I was bisexual and she told me she didn't care. She loved me, that's part of who I am and she wouldn't change it. She was thankful that I shared it with her. We've been married for 26 years, have 6 kids and our life is wonderful. She doesn't mind if I have a buddy to have some male to male fun with. She enjoys using a strap on on me and we have a better sex life and more active sex life than just about anyone we know and share those details with. We have been asked several times in the last year if we are newlyweds.
I'm not going to tell you what to do. Only you can decide that. But as for me, I cannot imagine hiding that whole side of your sexuality and life from someone you pledge to spend your whole life with.
Now that is a heart warming story. I really wish it could be this way for everyone. But the reality is that will not be the case for everyone, it's a crap shoot.
I am so happy for you that things worked out so well. You and your wife are lucky to have each other, ROCK ON.