Hello everyone! I wanted to share a dilemma that's been burdening me for quite some time. I know this probably isn't the best place to share my feelings, but I feel better just sharing it. Let me preface my questions and concerns by stating that this is my first time on a porn-esque website. In my 24 years of life, I've always avoided visiting adult websites, until now.

I am deeply connected to my religion; my entire family is religious and I've adopted their morals, beliefs and practices. Some of the practices include abstaining from sex until marriage. I've never been sexually intimate with another man before, nor have I explored "self stimulation" . I don't intend to do the former until marriage, and the latter is something I'm considering, but the very thought unsettles me greatly... It just doesn't seem like something a "good" person would do!

Due to very personal issues I've elected not to elaborate on, I was forced into doing several years of professional modeling in Europe and North America. I've since retired from modeling, but I remain very popular in Europe - my place of birth. I have a website, where fans e-mail me daily. My genre of modeling fell under the purview of glamour, lingerie and fashion so as one could imagine, I was clad in scanty garments.

Through e-mails, my fans with tame intentions sometimes tell me that they have read or have seen my interviews and that they enjoy my personality. However, the majority of my fans, the ones with more salacious intentions, send me very lewd e-mails. It's often I get e-mails from said fans who explain that they enjoyed masturbating to my photos. Additionally, through a simple Google search of my name, I have countless threads about me (I even found one on this website!), with men sharing what they want to do to me, and what they find attractive about me.

The question I find myself asking is, do I enjoy my fans masturbating to my photos? I feel a person by my definition of "good" should not enjoy it and I should feel disgusted and repulsed by these men viewing me as a sexual object. However, there's a carnal facet of me that enjoys it, and it makes me feel really, really ashamed to feel this way. To me, a man can proclaim his affection for me through an e-mail by calling me beautiful, or other similar compliments, which I very much appreciate! But a man masturbating while looking at my photos or thinking of me means so much more; it's an physical proclamation of his lust. The action of a man ejaculating seems so much more affectionate to me than a simple "you're beautiful". There's also a part of me that enjoys being viewed as a sexual object - it makes me feel desirable and it gives me a certain degree of power over men which I enjoy, but feel bad for enjoying.

Am I wrong in feeling the way I do? Should I embrace my feelings, or should I practice temperance and suppress the impure thoughts? Sorry for the long post, but advice would be very much appreciated!

Sex and masturbation is natural and normal. Religion making people feel ashamed for natural feelings and urges is not normal nor healthy.

It is a section of society all pretending that they don't have the exact same urges or do the exact same thing they say others should not.

Enjoy your sexuality as long as it is legal under the countries law and nobody is being harmed. I have no religious beliefs whatsoever but I am as likely to hurt another person as any religious person. Religion does not correlate to morality.

I'm sorry you feel shame and guilt.
Masturbation is normal and healthy. Suppression of sexual feelings will lead to unhappiness and dysfunction.
I think you should explore your body and the pleasure it can give you and think about a romantic relationship.
It might also be worthwhile speaking to a counsellor/psychotherapist to help you with negative attitudes to sex.
Kind regards,
Q.

Just want to say: be careful out there on the internets. Stay anonymous and you can have a lot of fun. Don't give out any contact information that would reveal your real identity or that you aren't willing to throw away.

That said, masturbating with good supportive online friends can be wonderful.

Hello....the truth is for me. .I don't have a answer for you about morals....not that I don't have any..I do...I spent years in the bathrooms and stockrooms on my jobs masturbating to women I knew and saw all day long.... I would even masturbate in the back of my delivery truck several times a day..pulling over on the side of the road or parking field to pleasure myself as I called out her name if I knew it or just moan for someone I did not know....how do I think a higher presents views my masturbating is a question I often asked myself afterwards...call it guilt or morals... I don't know ..do I think I will not make heaven because of my masturbation. .I feel I have no clue...just the spark of the moment ...I feel it is mind healthy to masturbate and express your desires in stead of holding them in and becoming troubled ...if I saw you and you had a certain look I desire..not just body but facial expressions... More facial then body. It's a turn on.. I would put you in my fantasy world in my dirty mind and have my way with you.. Even being married I have MASTURBATED all my life... And never to my wife....it must be a god given act to masturbate.. How could something that feels so AMAZEING be so evil and against a higher source that probily gave it to you in the first place. .

It is very sad that organized religion and archaic beliefs define anything sexual as "wrong", "immoral", "dirty", "sinful" and tell people (particularly women) to wait till marriage. Then the day comes when you have a piece of paper and a ceremony and suddenly sex is all good.

Bad part is, you've been brainwashed to think it's bad your entire life. You have sex with your husband, but you have no experience and don't know what you like, much less what he likes. After a few years, he strays and fucks another woman who does all the things he sees in porn videos. She rocks his world. Men need two basic things...sex and food. If you feed us well and keep us sexually satisfied we'll do just about anything for you. Men have killed for women who sexually satisfied them.

I am a deeply spiritual person, but not a religious person. Religion is a business. We are saved by grace, not by following religious law. God knows your heart.

My advice is that you begin exploring yourself. Masturbate regularly. Try different toys. Get to where you feel confident with your sexuality. Then you can be with a man and not feel as embarrassed.

Sex is a wonderful, natural, normal, beautiful gift from God. It's not dirty or wrong.

It was a fake post. Ignore her.

Excuse me? Why are you spreading nonsense?

The professor has returned in yet another guise.....

Enjoy it! You only live once! Just think about all thoses hard cock cumming to u!

You need to enjoy your exploration. As other posters have said, keep your personal details to ourself but have fun. Life's too short to have any hang ups. Enjoy and be safe.

Thank you for your responses guys! I appreciate them all

I accidentally double posted, I'm sorry!

I'm not sure why, but I keep getting error messages when trying to enter in my response to you. I entered in my response on a text upload website. Please click it to see my response

Link to response

Several if us on here have the same problem when trying to reply to a response! It gets to be a pain type out a ness age reply then have it not send!
I have Kearney to send shorter message replies it's a hassle but works!