Ok. I really wish I had a best friend with which I could share this kind of thing. You know when you do something really stupid that's just plain funny and you want to share it with your friend because he gets you? In this case I cannot share this with anyone else so the JC community is my family.

So I'm jerking off this morning at my computer, which I do every day, and I am getting close to cumming. So I stand up, and my eyes are fixed on the scene playing (lesbians I think) and I reach for my coffee cup because I'm going to squirt into the cup so I can drink it. I've done this hundreds of times and once in awhile I either overshoot the cup a little or a bit of coffee splashes over the edge of the cup. In either case I wipe it up or lick it off the desk when I'm done unloading. This time was different. This time the damn cup was full and, you know I'm watching the girls on the screen, I picked up the cup and set it down on something and the entire cup of coffee dumps over onto my desk. Papers get wet, the monitor base gets wet, the coffee is running all over the desk, and my cock is shooting cum uncontrollably all over the place while I'm trying to stand the mug up and save some of the coffee from spilling. I'm swearing at myself and shooting my cum into the, now mostly empty, mug and pulling my cock to get it all out.

Then I spent the next half hour picking up all the crap on the desk and wiping down what I could and throwing out what was not salvageable and just feeling stupid.

Anyone else do something really stupid while jerking off?

:-)

I would have loved to watch that!

Just the thought of you shooting cum uncontrollably all over the place is hot. Funny story, but probably not for you at the moment.

One of my stupid moments? I masturbate a lot in front of my computer at my desk. I watch my fave handjob cumshot compilation vids and have a good time. Sometimes I shoot big/far.
After a particularly hot gooning session, and I had been teasing myself for a long time and did a couple of edges and then I was ready. I shot hard and 2 ropes landed side-by-side at a perfect V shape on my desk. Cum all over my hand and pubes. Off I go to my bedroom and got a rag and cleaned up and got dressed. Then went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Wife comes home and we had our usual chat.

My wife goes upstairs to change and do whatever. Then I hear "What happened here?" I had forgotten, then, oh shit! I forgot to clean the cum off my desk. I go upstairs and she was standing there looking at my cum. I said "oops" and she just asked if I had a good time. I said yes. She said "sure looks like it" lololol

When I was younger and was experimenting with anal self-love for the first time, I always stole vaseline from my parents. One day there was nothing left, but I was so horny I just used some mint flavoured toothpaste. I came instantly, but the burning sensation afterwards... BURNED LIKE HELL. Don't EVER use toothpaste. It was so painful I thought I would have had to go to the hospital, fortunately I read on the internet that the pain would subside in a few hours, and luckily enough it did...

DUMB!

The STUPIDEST thing I've ever done while
jacking off was using This machine,
back in my mid 20s...



It's a Maxi-Thumper back massager machine.
It has six large massage knobs that vibrate like
a jackhammer.
The sonuvabitch is Heavy, and it requires someone
else to use it on your back to give your back a
numbing massage to relieve back pain and stress.

At its highest setting you could crush a cat
or pack loose pavement gravel tight with this machine.
At it's lowest setting, this machine can still thump
so damn hard you could crack an entire bowl of
walnuts all at once with it!

The first time I used it I held it against my cock,
and man did it make me get hard quickly!
But the machine is heavy...
So, I folded a towel and laid it on the flat surface
of a nightstand, placed my hard cock onto the
towel, folded the towel over, and placed this
Thumper right on top so that my cock sat between
the large massage knobs.
At the low setting, my cock felt great and I was
dripping precum as my cock grew rigid.
After a while I got greedy and switched the machine
to its highest setting... I came quick and raging hard,
shot a fierce thick load of cum, and after that
my cock went numb for a few minutes.

I continued using the machine again and again
every few nights, for the raging pleasure it gave me.
After a while I noticed my cock wasn't responding to
stimulation as quickly as I thought it should.
I did some research and found out that some of the
very tiny sensitive nerve endings in my cock and
glans were damaged as a result of using the Thumper
for this brutal form of masturbation.
I stopped using this machine, but to this day I'm
paying the price for such greedy lust: ED.

I can still get hard, with a lot of effort.
And I can still maintain my erection as long as
I continue stimulating, stroking, and edging
my cock by my own hand with lube, or by a buddy's
lubed hand or his mouth.
During long cock foreplay I fluctuate between
Hard and Semi-hard, and I have to stay mentally
focused on my own arousal.

I still use vibrating devices to get my rocks off,
but nothing more than Prostate Massage toys and
hand-held Massage Wands; and only for brief
touch stimulation, as a means to help me
rebuild my stamina by working certain muscles
in my groin area (the PC, and IB muscles).

No matter what your adult age, young or old,
I would advise you NOT to use this machine
for masturbating, unless you want to suffer ED
as I am to this day. I'm not joking.

Happy Wanking

Just thought of another... I am the youngest with older sisters. I used to play with their unused tampons in the bathroom by fucking myself in the ass with them. I would fuck my asshole awhile and once I pushed the absorbent tampon up into my ass to see what that felt like. The pressure was good and all but because there's little to no moisture up there and the pad is designed to absorb all that, I had trouble pulling the damn thing out of my ass. I did get it out and all but I remember one of my sisters asking me why her obviously unused (at least for the intended purpose) tampon was in the bathroom garbage. Duh, I didn't cover it up or wrap it in tissue like they would do.

Stupid.