I was able to finally fulfil my fantasy of getting with another guy about 3 yrs ago, but that was only after about ten years of longing. Now regret all those years, especially my younger ones, not being able to indulge. What has stopped you from taking the plunge and maybe we can put your mind at ease

I sucked my first cock at 15yo and I loved it. I didn't suck another one from 17yo until I was in my mid 20's. Mostly because I was scared of the stigma and of getting caught. It was the early 90's and Magic Johnson had just announced he had HIV. It wasn't a great time to be labeled as "gay". There was no internet like there is today and meeting people wasn't as easy as it is now.

Even today, I'm worried about STDs and what I might bring home to my wife, so I don't get to do much of the same sex stuff I desire.

I love sucking cock and swallowing cum, I just don't have much opportunity.

I finally took the "plunge" around 30. I sort of made up for lost time but all I would do is jo or mutual. One fine day at a glory hole I let a guy suck me. It hasn't happened much over the years. One day when I was in my 50's I ended up topping a guy. All in all it's mostly been not really having the chance. It's a lot harder to meet guys than I imagined.

The fear of STD's and getting caught. Im just afraid I would feel guilty and ashamed once it was over. I still think about it though mostly mutual jacking and sucking.

I think that's a big factor for most men. It was for me. Men have a reputation for fucking anything, and there's a fear they've made questionable choices in the past. But once I realized they're no sluttier than women, it was easier to plunge right in.

I have cammed several times and it was fun so it may eventually happen, just have to be horny enough I guess lol.

STD and just trying to find someone...that you can trust

Thanks for replying everyone. I think the things that stopped me were as follows.

As a married "straight" male it seemed even more taboo to be having fun with a guy rather than a woman. If it had been a female I had gone out to fuck I would have felt very guilty but I feared that with a guy I would have condemned myself as being even more morally corrupt and perverted.

The thought of getting caught and the utter devastation to my and my families life it would have caused really scared me.

People have mentioned the fear of STDs and yeah, that was a concern for me too. Not because I thought men who met each other were more diseased than anyone else, but I got the impression that men being men they probably would have had a great deal more partners and the risks increased.

To make it clear I have never found other men attractive even in the slightest. I felt free to acknowledge that your Brad Pitts and George Clooneys were handsome guys but never once did I find one attractive. But the thing I did like, and what kept me interested despite all my concerns, was that I wanted something sexual that did not include emotional attachment, and was purely about carnal pleasure. The pure enjoyment of fucking or sucking or jerking purely for the sheer physical pleasure of it, and in turn being able to provide that same pleasure to others with no fear of judgement. In essence I wanted to have the sort of ferocious animal pleasure I was seeing in porn. I was unlikely to ever encounter a female who would be up for it as much as I was but guys who wanted the same as me? There are millions of us!

I ended up joining both a swinging and gay encounter website, fabswingers and fabguys respectively. To counter some of my concerns I made it clear what I was looking for and ideally with other married guys. The thought being that if we were in the same boat we would both understand the need for discretion and caution. I was also careful to avoid people who had met a lot of other guys.

As for my guilt in meeting someone behind my wifes back I justified it to myself by knowing that I was not looking for another relationship because I love my wife. But ultimately I was looking for some sexual relief in a manner she could not help me with (unfortunately she does not have a cock I can suck!) and I likened it to just jerking off but with someone else in the room who may end up helping me out. No emotion just pure sex.

I chatted to a lot of guys in these rooms and got more and more excited all the time, but years went by and because of my concerns and nerves I would always find a reason not to meet. Eventually I did meet up with a guy in a coffee shop on the pretence of chatting and arranging something else but I immediately understood his heart was not in it. On another occasion I drove to a nearby secluded car park to meet someone for a hand job but they didn't show.

This almost finished my interest in all of it but it still hadn't robbed me of my desire. So I persevered, finally started to chat to someone and I learnt that I could trust them and that led me to my first meet. Since then I have met up with him and another guy (separately) for a total of about a dozen meets and I have loved them all. However I still get nervous before each meet, and on a couple of occasions I have even chickened out, even though I know they are completely trustworthy, but the mind can still play tricks on you.

Ultimately if you feel that this urge to meet another guy is part of you, and isnt just a whim, you should know it isnt impossible to hook up. Hey, my wife has now retired and I have gone from having five days a week when I was free to meet to zero. But there is always some chance to meet up. Just put those feelers out, find someone you feel you can trust and go from there.

I have no regrets and have enjoyed every meet I have had. But then again I would....there is nothing in the world quite like a nice hard cock!

STDs is what keeps me from sucking cock these days. If they are willing to suck my cock no questions asked sure they would do the same with someone who has STDs.

I have a fantasy of sucking a cock, but I'm not at all sexually attracted to men. Since I don't even like fooling around with women who aren't sexually attractive to me, this leaves me with a problem: either I have to find a trans woman who is both passable and will let me suck their cock, or a crossdresser who is passable enough (i.e. no hairy dudes wearing dresses.) Since both of these things are nigh impossible to find, that's pretty much the reason that 'stopped me from taking the plunge.'

Neonudist. What I would suggest is not concentrating on what they look like. Just what their cock looks like. If you were at a glory hole and a cock suddenly poked through would you suck it not knowing what the guy looks like? The couple of guys I have met are not attractive to me at all, but their nice thick meaty cocks are!

True, but I don't have easy access to glory holes either.

I do not find men sexy at all and the thought of kissing a man turns my stomach but I really would like to touch and explore a mans penis and see if I could make him ejaculate

I think the biggest thing was was everyone else talked about, STD's and getting caught by my wife. By the time the internet rolled around it was easier to meet guys. I think the key to that was making sure I was looking and verifying in some way they were safe and married and trying to avoid the same as me!
The first guy I met as an adult, we sat in his truck and talked and stroked our own dicks and each went home without cumming. We were both too nervous. If you're willing to spend the time to make sure there is some degree of safety and trust, that allowed me to open up to the idea. So I only meet married guys as a starter. I prefer to meet guys who only want to be serviced and not guys that want to suck or touch cock themselves. Guys that view meeting with me as a way for release for them for something they aren't getting from their wife is best. I've had a guy who's dick I've been sucking for going on 10 years now I think! Married, no expectations other than a warm mouth.

I've been doing hookups off and on for a good long time.

First of all, I am not married and don't have kids, so I can afford quite a bit of sexual exploration. If I was was married and or had kids, I would not trade them at all for fantasies.

There is the ever present threat of STD's. Fooling around with a stranger presents many dangers...and most of them totally not worth it if there is any kind of negative trade involved.

Yeah, there is stuff like attraction, but I bypass that because I am not even remotely interested in men other than for oral sex. Not attracted, not interested in anything other than oral. I make this quite clear up front.

Sure, I do have a high risk lifestyle, but I mitigate that by hard exclusions against drinking and drugs AND requiring video chat before meeting. It is not perfect...but it cuts out a LOT of risk.

I haven't done a lot of meetups, but sticking to my requirements has made them all less risky and worth my time.