Aubrey Plaza, Hailee Steinfeld, and Kiernan Shipka.

If I could add one to the list, it would be Maisie Williams.

I?m not much of one for showing off. If someone wants to watch me fuck, that?s one thing. I can appreciate a good audience. But it kinda has to be spontaneous. Watching though, if someone wants to show off a good stroke and cum, I like to watch.

I?m not terribly attracted to her but I can guarantee that if some of you were having a go at her, I?d jerk off and watch. My voyeuristic tendencies are more situational than personal. And if you were sharing her outdoors, in public, with her not caring who was watching, I?d cum more than once. Quickly the first time.

13, the summer I turned 14. So 13. A kid in my class had a treehouse where he taught me how to get myself off. And him as well. That led to the rest of my education. We went from jacking off to magazines to giving each other head to fucking in pretty short order. He was my first in a lot of things. There were a few days in there where I?d be at his house in the morning, we?d cum, go swimming, ride bikes, and then cum again before I went home. I ended up fucking his older sister later that summer and that pretty much ended my early gay career, but I was gobbling cock that early.

Not a lot, really. A bunch the summer I turned 14 and was learning about sex from a buddy. Then I slept with his sister and she did the swallowing, brought me back over to the straight(ish) side. Twice in college. And couple of dozen times when I had my only real gay affair about 25 years ago. But he was close to 70 and although he could get hard as nails, he didn?t produce huge loads. So maybe 50 times which now seems like quite a bit.

That?s easy. I get off to a lot of people but If I?m alone and have no input from the internet, there?s someone from my past that can still always get me off.

S. was, and still is, about 5?1? and back then she was about 115 pounds. Long brunette hair, big brown eyes, glasses that just drove me wild. Perfect little A cups with puffies. A natural landing strip that she didn?t have to trim. She was remarkably uninhibited for a Nebraska farm girl. I watched her lick her best friend?s pussy on a dare once, in public, ?til that friend came. She?d masturbate in the car, on the going down the road. If people saw, she didn?t care.

She gave amazing head and always swallowed, althouygh I do remember two occasions when she asked me to cum on her face. She was sensitive to latex so I couldn?t wear a condom and had to pull out. But she liked the feel of cum on her belly and loved it when I came on her. If I took my time, I could get three fingers in her ass and then just slide right in. I can remember lowering her ass onto me once and just hearing that long sigh, ?ooooooooooooooooh? until she was all the way down and grinding. Probably the fastest I ever came inside of someone. She genuinely enjoyed anal almost as must as vaginal.

She?s happily married now, a mom in her forties, at least fifty pounds heavier, and those perfect, perky tits have a lot of sag now, as does her ass. But over the years there?ve been hints made on the rare occasions we?ve had contact and I swear, if she wanted to relive any of my fond memories, and I don?t have a problem fucking other men?s wives, I?d be off to Nebraska to cum in that mouth, on that landing strip, or up that ass, in a heartbeat.

Now that I?ve talked about her, she?s who?s going to get me off this morning.

Either the Honeymoon Suite of a very fancy hotel OR the room farthest from the office in one of those seedy ?By the Hour? motels. I have very strong voyeuristic tendencies and watching random strangers fuck is a huge turn on.

Sure do. It was the same weekend I leaned how to masturbate. I was 13, my buddy Mike was probably 14. We were in the same home room but he?d been held back a year in school. He?d taught me how to get myself off the day before and I was back at his house and up in his treehouse for more ?fun? the next day. We were looking at the porno mags he had stashed and a couple of them weren?t just your standard Hustler or Penthouse, they were hardcore. Nothing gay or bi, just straight sex but there were photos of blowjobs and all kinds of penetration. I had taken off my underwear and cutoffs and was wearing just a t-shirt and I was sooooo hard. Mike was wearing the same. He flipped the page and we went from foreplay pictures to a blowjob. I can still picture it, a fat cock and a perky little redhead was sucking it. I said something to the effect of, ?Man, I wonder how that feels,? and Mike said, ?Like this,? and put his mouth around the end of my little buddy. I hadn?t grown into mine yet. But I could cum and within just a few seconds, I had. I can?t imagine how big that load was. We were both kneeling next to the trunk where he stashed his porn so he simply stood up and there his was, right in my face. ?Your turn.?. Nothing seemed strange about it. After all, he?d just done it for me. He started stroking it and I put my mouth over the end of it. I held on to his thighs and began to bob my head a little as he rocked back and forth, fucking my mouth. Might have been all of thirty seconds, maybe a minute, when I felt him tense. And suddenly, there it was, a flood of warm, salty cum, stream after stream. He let go of his cock and held onto my head as he pushed in to the back of my mouth and finished. I swallowed every drop.

Goes with the territory. No problem. Had a guy watching his wife and I, doggystyle, and when it was time, he came on my cock as it slipped in and out. Hot as fuck. It wasn't accidental but that's okay. Still friendly fire.

It's not something I seek out, and when the opportunity presents itself, it has to be the right guy, but yeah, I'll watch. It's definitely a turn on. My first sexual experiences all keyed off of watching a buddy get himself off in order to teach me how so I could do it with him. So it's related to find memories, for sure. If the right guy asks, I'm a good audience.

This morning? The list could change from day to day but this morning, and in no particular order and if I could have all five at once, it would probably kill me, but I'd die happy:


Anna Kendrick


Maisie Williams


Margot Robbie


Nora Lum (Awkwafina)


Gwendoline Christie

I can narrow it down to three:

Boy Scout camp, middle of the night, flashlight tucked down deep me so it couldn't be seen, in a tent with five other guys, looking at a picture a friend had given me and which I had hidden in my sleeping bag, torn from a porno mag, of the 70s porn star, Marlene Willoughby riding a cock. No one woke up and I used my tighty whities as a cum catcher and then stuffed them down into the foot of the bag.

Driving on the interstate, cock wrapped in the panties I'd just stolen from the laundry basket of a girl I knew, that everyone wanted, and that I knew I could never have. She was my cousin's college roommate. The irony being that I did later have her. And the panties? I washed them and slipped them back into their house the next time I visited. It HAS occurred to me just now that they might have belonged to my cousin. I have no problem with that.

High school journalism class, the darkroom, developing pictures of the girl's track team. I could feel myself getting ready to cum in my pants so I stroked it quickly into the trash can, pretending to be setting the timer for the chemical bath. Looking at an enlargement of the prettiest girl on the team, legs flexed and nipples hard, it took all of maybe six strokes. I am SO glad I don't cum that quickly any more. I was NOT alone in the darkroom. There was a journalism teacher and a fellow student.

Contemporary? Anna Kendrick. I thought of several others but always came back to Anna.



Not just modern but ever? That's far easier. Louise Brooks. Always Louise Brooks. Do I have a type and is it intelligent, unique, and petite brunette? Apparently I do and apparently so.

Kid I went to junior high with in the 70s. He lived next to a grocery store that had a pretty respectable selection of nudie magazines in their news stand, which was up front of the store. He?d either steal them, which was easy considering where they were, or he?d fish them out of the trash when they were tossed at the end of the month. He had an old trunk in his tree house. First time I was ever in the tree house, it was to see this legendary magazine collection.

We were about two magazines in and he could see that I was hard. I was wearing thin track shorts. He pointed and said something to the effect of, "Go ahead."

"Huh?". I had no idea what he meant. I'd never masturbated and knew nothing about it.

"Go ahead, Beat your meat (his favorite euphemism). It's okay. I might, too."

"You don?t beat your meat (a phrase I still don?t use)?"

"I don?t know what you mean." I was becoming very self-conscious about the state of my 'meat'.

"Shit man. Look. Just do what I do."

He unbuttoned and unzipped his blue jean shorts, stood up, and kicked them. He wasn?t wearing underwear. Also a shock to me. Where I had only a wispy bit of pube, he had a thick, dark bush. And he was definitely bigger than I was. "Go ahead. Take it out."

I was very shy and self-conscious but I slipped down my shorts. "What are you, a girl? Panties too Whatcha scared of. I've seen you naked in the shower in gym." And so down my tighty whities went.

"Okay. Do this.". He made a ring of his forefinger and thumb and began to slide it up and down what, even for an adult, would have been a pretty respectable cock.

His hips began to swing and he said, "C?mon, just like me, you?re gonna love it!"

I did what he did with his hand and I might have lasted all of five strokes, not even ten seconds, when I came for the first time. Jet after jet of jizz. No one had ever told me about this. He grunted and said, ?Hold on, hold on, hold on,? swiveled a little closer and as I was shooting the last of my first load, he shot his all over my hand and my cock and balls.

Now though I was scared. I knew what the word meant. Bullies called me that all the time. "Mike, I mean, does this make me a fag?" I asked, using my underwear as a cum rag to clean myself up.

"Nah, man. If I'm not a fag, and I'm not, you can't be either. Besides, we were looking at pictures of girls. Can?t be a fag and like girls, right?"

We used that word a lot back then. Don?t worry, I don?t use it now.

I knew that was right and I was relieved. And I wanted to feel that sensation again. ?Now, you get to be the girl and I?ll be the guy and I?ll show you something else.?. We got out another magazine and by the time the sun went down, so had I. I was the girl twice more that day and came twice more myself.

By the end of summer though, I?d learned from a real girl, my buddy?s older sister, and knew I wasn?t gay. But thanks to that friend and that first experience, I?ll still play with a guy every now and again. And I always think of Mike when I feel that throbbing in my ass that says he taught me well.