When Helen met Pixie. What a fucking meeting of minds that was. The theory of two incredibly dense objects co-existing in the same space at the same time has been proven to be false. Watch and learn. And then kill yourself.


Helen and Pixie

Back in the day Jade Goody was - easily- top of my hate wank list. These days it's gobby Gabby Logan and Fiona !Supercilious' Bruce: two haughty sluts who might benefit from Big Black Cock.

If she was my girl she'd never want for semen.

Love her.

I despise her. I really do. She exemplifies fake. But she is certainly a semen slurper. I can imagine her eagerly supping champagne flutes of freshly milked sperm from middle-aged BBC executives as she vied for the role of Blue Peter presenter. She acts coy, but we all know she is an absolute first class cum guzzler. Bless her! Good old Helen.

She's gonna get my cum again. #YummyMummy

Seems like she's a bit of a 'marmite' babe...

She's on countryfile on BBC1 this coming Sunday.

Will just stare at her face as she speaks some gormless crap till I can take no more.

Whip my cock out and wank furiously as I tell her how stupid she is.

There's definitely something about her, but she's never my 'go to' wank. If she happens to be on tv I'll happily beat one out over her (if she had her legs out - it'd be a pass otherwise), but I don't think I'd set out to specifically wank over her.

To be fair I wanked over those topless holiday pics/vids of hers a lot when they came out (assuming they were genuine!) Tits definitely her best feature, her body is good (but not spectacular) and her face okay (IMHO). To be honest if it wasn't for those breasts I probably wouldn't give her a second look.

Her tits are nice, but I'm a leg man. A nice pair of shapely, bare legs is what I'm normally looking for when I'm edging away. Helen's will do in a pinch, but there are so many better pairs of legs out there... If her legs were great, her tits would probably make her a keeper, even if her face isn't spectacular.

Those topless pics are going to get a serious working over later! oh yes

That's a great postcard

Helen isn't necessarily on my wank list, but I'm quite the impulsive wanker (aren't we all? ), and it only takes a certain trigger to take my fancy to get me wanking over a certain celeb.

I wanked hard over Helen when she was hosting some swimming tournament (robnor120 has caps on page 2 of this thread), after my wife commented what a complete slapper she looked in that tight white dress, and how noticeable her tits were.

That did the trick. I spent the next hour watching Helen and filling up the wank bank in my head with imagery, before going at it hammer and tongs when my wife popped the dog out for a walk. I only had half an hour, but still managed a satisfying ball emptying in front of a screen full of pics of Helen, and the fresh imagery of her and my wife's comments, in my head.

That was the last time I wanked over Helen, and although she's a very rare pleasure I certainly enjoyed her that day.

That's a great little tale my friend...

Looks good oiled up like that...