Because that's what we've both agreed upon. I enjoy watching women together (at least in porn), she's curious as to whether or not she'd enjoy the reality (vs the fantasy) of being with another woman. I want her to realize her fantasy if she'd like, and vice versa.



Given that my presence would be something that all parties involved have agreed to...no...no, I don't.



Indeed I would. She wouldn't, as she's mentioned that she doesn't find the idea or image of two guys together to be appealing. But, if she were to say I could indulge those desires with her blessing, but she had to be present, I'd certainly respect those wishes, and I'd even find it a bit of a turn-on.



Not at all.

In fact, what if I told you that it was my wife who first said that I could be in the room when/if it happens?

As I said...different couples have different levels of acceptance of one another's sexual desires, be they fantasies or (eventual) realities.

I think you're projecting just a bit.

Best to stay away from the subject entirely. NOTHING has destroyed more marriages and long term relationships than openness and honesty about sex. It may seem OK at the time, but it will come back to bite you later.

DO NOT talk to your S.O. about sex.....except how much you enjoyed the last missionary position encounter you shared. DO NOT talk about wanting a jo bud. DO NOT talk about anything kinky. DO NOT even admit that you masturbate.....or that you even think about masturbation. And even if you met her when you were both age 30 or older, DO NOT admit that you had ever even dated another woman.

Sexual honesty in a marriage is a ticking time bomb. Don't talk about sex...just DO it. And let her take the lead so that you don't do, think, or say anything wrong.

I don't think it's a good idea to suggest that there is an answer one way or another for everyone.

People are different, one guys partner might see it as no big deal, another might feel that it's cheating.

I have a close buddy who's last GF would have freaked if he'd suggested such a thing to her.
His new GF has already stated (I don't know how it came about) that she see's it as guys just being guys; sharing a hobby.

All guys just need to judge their own relationship and decide what is right or wrong, what should be said and what should be kept secret.

There seems to be a "integrity breakdown" which has taken over the way persons make decisions in this country. Rather doing what is honest and accepting the consequences, the prevailing attitude seems to be "It's alright to do what you want and just hope that you don't get discovered." What kind of relationship have you and your significant other developed that allows either one of you to deceive the other in order to pursue a self-indulgence?

It seems to me that one needs to decide what circumstances need to take priority in one's life. For those who think it best not to discuss it, I think that it is naive to think that one can pursue a clandestine activity and not eventually get caught. Even if never caught, I think it's inevitable that the deception will cause damage to the primary relationship. Imagine what it would be like after 15-20 or more years of marriage, to discover that your other was having secret sex on the side. It could negate everything that was accomplished in the relationship.

If having the same sex experience, seems vital to ones sense of knowing who they are in life, then that needs to be discussed with any person who might be affected by pursuing that action. To draw a parallel, if you have made an agreement to meet another person at a specific point at a specific time, and you know you are going to be late, you can 1) let them wait without knowing why, which says "how I'm spending my time in life is more important than your time in life." They are powerless. or 2) let them know you are running late which allows them the power of responding, whether it is "That's okay I'll wait." Or "I'm doing my own thing, you can try to catch up. or "To hell with you, I'm going without you." If one deceives a significant other in order to pursue ones own desires, it really nullifies the other persons investment in the relationship. If you're going to fool around be honest and face the possible consequences. Or if that seems too great a risk for the rewards, then be faithful. I really don't understand how anyone can justify being dishonest to his partner in order to satisfy his own carnal desires.