I have been lurking on here for a while and I can see you dont hold back on your comments about sex and women, So I thought this may be a place to temporally sign up for and get some advice.

I have called myself Sarah stupid because I kind of know this is a stupid thing to do, I am a 25 year old female.

Like most people, male and female I have my sexual preferences, things I like, Kinks if you prefer, but why in the eyes of most men does that make me a slut and only being worthy of being abused by men?

I didnt ever think it was that bad but I like to be tied up during sex. I have always enjoyed being retrained since playing cowboys and indians as a little girl. I think its the feeling of helplessness, being out of control and not knowing what will happen. The risk of getting caught, maybe a bit of humiliation.

Since my first sexual relationships I have tried to nmake it part of out fun but most guys dont get it, and dont really know what to do, maybe some are afraid, im not sure but its always been a problem. so I stupidly turned to online dating and a little more forward with what I was looking for and dated completely different guys. These two guys both seriously abused me, a little pain and degrading talk can be playful and fun, but we are talking hate against women quite violent and one of them resulted in me going to hospital. I will not go into more detail publicly but you are welcome to PM.

Where do i go from here? just because I have something sexually I like and im female I cant talk about it without being labeled as a cheap whore, slut and deserve what I get. Maybe some of you guys have kinks you have brought up with partners, but how do I talk about it or attract the right kind of guys it without the abusive arseholes?

I will only be on here temporally and not my real name so say what you like I will not be offended.

So there you have it, single white female, 25, into bondage lol

Whether its sex or stamp collecting, there will always be people who will take things too far. And there certainly are whackjob males out there who believe hurting a woman is somehow an okay thing.

Your best bet might be to start "vanilla" and introduce bondage only after you're 100% sure that you and the other person are on the same page.

Is this an actual real female? Very hard to believe based on what I have seen so far. You would be the first but we will never truly know if you are

You're in the wrong place.

Go and join fetlife.com, a web site for BDSM activities where people understand your fetish and will respect you.

Yes, I totally agree with this. If you advertise on your dating profile that you're up for a bit of tying up, some guys will take that as license to do anything they like. Unless you're after extreme stuff yourself, and it doesn't sound like you are, then I'd suggest you just pursue a relationship with an emotionally intelligent guy, then one rainy Sunday you can mischevously blow his mind.

Sorry to hear that things got out of hand before and you went through that. Sounds like you're taking it as a warning to try a different approach, which is good.

And no, having your own desires- vanilla or otherwise - doesn't make you a slut. I think there are a lot of guys who are unable to express themselves in other ways. And on this site, there may well be blood flowing away from the brain, hence an extra bit of bravado and/or using labels like that as a shortcut. Best to see it through that lens. If language like that is being used in your actual sex life then, assuming you didn't consent, the problem is with the guy.

Good luck in your search for a cool guy who wants to tie you up and give you the thrill you're looking for without making you feel like crap afterwards! I'm absolutely certain he's out there.

25 year old female from UK playing "cowboys and indians" ? when a little girl ? so less than 20 years ago, when even in the US we were already being told kids shouldn't be culturally appropriating and degrading blah blah blah blah blah ... That struck me as an odd comment. OF COURSE I could be totally wrong in my doubt.

Yes, one should assume that all females on the internet are actually guys. That's just Internet 101.

Now with that said, I also agree with HampshireMan that Fetlife is the better place to find what this person is looking for. It's definitely not here, since this site is mainly filled with old gay British guys who are only looking for other dudes to jerk off with.

You do not start off with that sort of stuff. You have to introduce it at some point once you know the guy is a reasonable fit for you in every other metric. Otherwise youll just find psychopaths. If all you are looking for is a chance to get your rocks off, bondage parties or swingers clubs hosting a bondage or fetish night are probably a better option for you. Those places tend to be populated by people who are pretty strict adherents to the cardinal 'no means no' rule.

Just to be clear, I'm not looking for a guy here, this isnt a personal ad lol. I have read lots of the posts some very degrading about women and teenage girls in particular, so I thought may get some insight into what triggers such abusive thoughts.

the guys I am talking about I had built a relationship with and not one night stands.

The cowboys and indians comment... to be clear at that age was nothing sexual it was just a feeling of being at someone else's mercy

Still not believing your are actually female. All of you are giving advise to a dude

I have been on the net for many years and I am so sorry to hear what happened to you.

I am not into bdsm what-so-ever. However as Pindick-doug below said, the best idea would be to find a local club where they have safe events with people and all of the scene equipment etc.. and best of all it is safer because it is with other people women included.

You will be able to meet other women who can kind of guide you into the scene to meet decent people that they have known in real life not just on the Net etc. (always use caution as there can still be power hungry types who play nice until alone).. but yes if you join the site Fetlife and start talking first to other women to let them know you are looking for safe people to meet etc.. that might be the best bet.

I wish you luck and I am one of those guys who also knows the rule that almost always if a woman has contacted me (not in this case) or posted in an online group (as in this case) that I always am cautious as well as it is almost always a guy playing the role of a woman (there are a few ladies on here but not many) but in this case, as you wrote your story and the fact that you are not actually looking for anything here, I think you are genuine and even if you are someone who is asking for someone else etc. either way, the club idea is best.

Also go with a safe / trusted male friend of yours if you have any who will accompany you (if he is into it or not.. or even bring a confident strong woman with you who will enjoy the event with you and help you meet other good people )..

Good luck to you and please forgive all the name calling etc of women I do not understand it myself but as some have said it might just be how people talk but in real life they would not be that way.. I don't know.. I always feel terrible when I read such things but anyhow good luck be safe ...

I have known a lady friend for over 20 years who has also been into the BDSM world (again not my thing at all) and she has talked with me in depth about her experiences etc and NO you should never be hurt against your will. (I hate even saying it that way as I hate seeing anyone hurt even if they have wanted it so it feel very horrible for me to even say it) but if you are going to be involved in that type of activity it is probably again as said BELOW to join Fetlife and find through there a local group which has regular "Munches" they are called where they just meet fellow BDSMers in a local restaurant for food and chat (no sexual activity) and talk to them to start meeting local real people .. preferrably introduce yourself to some of the women and let them know you are new and need some safety guidance into the scene and to meet safe people. (also please do not PM privately back to me I just wanted to share this with you - good luck) you can post on this public forum just I ask not to respond privately thank you.

People are complicated, man. I have posted, said and thought things about women that I would never act on even if it was the last day for all of humanity because I am not a monster (or at least I dont think I am). And honestly too, at your age a lot of guys are still pretty retarded. I hate that this is patronizing , but a lot of bondage stuff really is not for people who are just starting to forge adult life experiences.

All I can think is that this is a total BS post. Some dude.

I once had a gf once that likes a bit of bondage, nothing heavy just playing with handcuffs etc. You are not the only one, I think most of us have our fantasies and kinks so no reason you should be different or judged for it. good luck with your quest

Why do you guys keep giving advice to this obviously fake profile? Let it just fall out of todays topics. Isnt this a jerkoff site? Back to the pics and cock stiffening