I find it funny, thinking back on my past girlfriends, what they called masturbation. My wife, for some reason, can not bring herself to say "masturbation" or any typical slang names, like jerking off, jacking off etc. She says things like "pleasuring yourself" or "doing your thing" or "you do you" and sometimes just plain old "rubbing" especially referring to when she's wants to masturbate.

My wife just calls it a wank.

When she does it for me she always just asks Do you want a wank

I love the term pleasuring yourself.

Some other terms:

Spanking the monkey
Five finger shuffle
Making the bald man cry
Poaching your egg
Shaking hands with Dr. Winky
Beating your meat
Blowing your own horn
Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Riding the mayonnaise surf
Shucking corn
Waxing your carrot
Tugging the slug
Windsurfing on Mount Baldy
Debugging the hard drive
Auditioning your hand puppet
Oozing your noodle
Squirt hockey
Hand shandy
Smoosh smoosh
Burping the worm
Wanking
Pocket pinball
Badgering the witness
Celebrating Palm Sunday
Making magic with leftovers
Pulling the Pope
Wrestling the eel
Liquidating the inventory
Hoisting your own petard
Fishing with dynamite
Beef Strokenoff
Jerkin' the gherkin
Cooking cucumbers
Consulting Dr. Jackoff
Tipping off the inspector
Much a goo about nothing
Looking for clues with Fred and Daphne
Discovering your own potential
Shuffling your iPod
Strangling the Cyclops
Buffing the Vampire Slayer
Making Pearl Jam
Meeting the Goopman at midnight
Seasoning your meatloaf
Practicing politics
Hunting for Red October
Tossing egg salad
Crying on the toilet
23 skidoo
The tartar sauce rainbow
Last but not least: Choking the chicken

once i was frisky but she told me to have a wank.now i just say i need a wee rub and she wanks me off.

My wife usually just calls it jerking off or 'touching your horny little cock', lol

Hand job

Bobbing the bologna (baloney)