As I continually meet more gay people , I notice how much I am turned off by the whole " top/bottom" culture. Personally , I dont have a preference and I dont hold one over the other. I feel that the "top/bottom" idea is just to create power inequalities and a hieratic structure amongst guys who practice anal sex. I believe that when you sleep with someone it should be about enjoying yourself , letting yourself go, and being loose(no pun intended.lol). Whatever feels right and good at that moment , is good. I have met guys who were tops just because they felt that they wanted to be "the man" and it was just about feeding their ego. Sex is a beautiful thing and every aspect of a sexual encounter is beautiful because its about connecting with another person not the "role" that you assume in bed,that is insignificant .

I want to hear other ideas, questions, concerns, comments.

Thanks

Well, as a gay man who is heavily involved in the 'gay culture' I'd say most gay men (in Michigan, at least) resent and reject the notion that bottoms and tops are submissive and dominant, or the 'woman' and the 'man,' respectively. I identify as a bottom because I... prefer to bottom. That's it. Bottoming just brings me so much more physical pleasure than topping I highly prefer it... though I will top if I MUST, haha. But I am far from submissive; I'm often the control freak of my relationships and have to keep myself in check.

I agree Doug, I am a top, Morninwood. HOWEVER My boyfriend acts so straight that when people meet him for the first time they can't believe he is gay. Most people top or bottom because that is what they like. I can bottom, but I don't enjoy it as much as I do topping. Are the people you are meeting in the BDSM community? A LOT of that has to do with power as well, but that is what gets them off. So to each his own eh?

I agree I'm versatile I think top/bottom is just another stero type nothing more

I've topped several times, but never been a bottom. Love the feel of something in my ass. Would love to try the bottom with the right guy.

This topic is one of those never ending subjects for most of us. Personally, I like to bottom because of the sexual thrill it gives me. But sometimes, if I get to play with a sweet, smooth CD or tranny, I'm happy to top. Never was into the dom/sub thing tho. Good sex should be mutual and fun, not an exercise in power. Comments?

I agree with the above it is a stereotype. I am a bottom because I love it, my bf is a top because he loves it. Nothing to do with power inequalities. I know quite a few gay couples who are the same and treat each other with respect.