I've been in this relationship for a year and a half and the girl I'm seeing is awesome. Everything is usually good all around but where we have issues is with intimacy. I see it as a problem but she doesn't. I'm a guy and like sex a lot. I'm horny pretty much all the time. Well she's not. The sex is amazing but its very far and few. I don't mind not having sex all the time but I at least like to be pleasured. I'll ask for a hand job and she usually says no. Sometimes she says yes but rarely. She tells me "Go to the bathroom and finish yourself." She says "It's not my responsibility to pleasure you." I think differently I've never had this problem in a relationship. I never used to be as horny as I am now I think partly because I used to be pleasured wherever whenever. She won't just ever touch me in bed. I've asked her too and she states I can't just touch you because you'll just ask me to finish you. One time she did just touch me and I didn't finish just to prove I can be touched and not finish. That didn't do anything. Its so hard to be jerked and not finish and I don't think that's fair. I dono how to talk further about this with her. I get myself off more than I get pleasure. We'll be in bed she'll feel me brush up on her I'll be hard and she won't do anything not even touch me. Please HELP. I'm 27 I've tried talking to her and she sees no problem and says its not her responsibility.

Just off the top of my head...have you considered a therapist? If you really love each other and you both want the relationship to work then it's worth it. When you are with a therapist you can express your frustrations and concerns at the same time she can express her point of view and be able to get to the real underlying reasons she has been acting the way she has.

as someone who is trapped in a sexless relationship, GET OUT NOW, BREAK UP. It doesn't get any better. GET OUT NOW. There are women out there who actually like to fuck. Don't waste your time (or your life) on someone who doesn't agree with you on something as important as sex.

I agree. It does neither of you any good so you should do her a big favor and move on. Life is too short...etc.

In a relationship it is important that you are compatable in the degree of your sexual desires and in my experience women vary considerably in their sexual drive compared to most guys. Unfortunately in your case your partner is not prepared to satisfy your desires. I am afraid that over time things are unlikely to improve except possibily that you became married. However longer term I think she is likely to return to being fully satisfied with limited sexual activities. Time to move on I am afraid.

I hate to say it but, she has issues. You need to find yourself a woman that can and will enjoy sex with you. Your only 27 years old for crying out loud. At that age there is no way I would settle for being locked in a relationship with a woman who was sexually frigid. I must agree with the above poster, GET OUT NOW, because to me it sounds like she wants you to get out.

You have to have a serious sit down conversation about this. If both of you can't come to a consensus, then there isn't much point. Does she really know that you need it that much? And do you know why she doesn't? There may be solvable isssues. But if she just doesn't like sex that much, then you two will never be compatible.

she may have an issue because you aren't what she wants. maybe she has other sexual yens on her mind and really doesn't enjoy men. ever think of that? but whatever the reason is, fuck a theropist, leave now. go your way and make sure she goes hers

+1000!!!

Lots of good women out there. Sex IS important. If you aren't getting it from her, you'll find it someplace else. Trust me. I know.

You are only 27, man. Don't put up with that kind of crap for the rest of your life. Dump her if you can.

Get the fuck out of there now!!!!!! It does not get better and no amount of "therapy" will help. She will not change and you will reach a point in the relationship when you start to believe that you are wrong for having normal desires. No, just get out. Do it now no matter how.

It's true, it is not going to get any better, barring a miracle. You sound like your not compatible, do both of you a favor and look elsewhere because she is going to come to resent your constant attempts at sex. Find a woman who thinks like you do and allow her to find someone who thinks like she dose. Sex in a relationship isn't everything but it's big part of a relationship, specially at the beginning.

I've heard this problem referred a lot to sex-columnist Dan Savage. His advice is usually to DTMFA (dump the motherfucker already). And if she actually said, "It's not my responsibility to pleasure you," then I'd agree that you should DTMFA.

But Savage might add, if you love her and she isn't willing to meet your sexual needs, propose an open relationship. If sex is as unimportant as she seems to think it is, she shouldn't have any problem with you meeting those unimportant needs somewhere else. That way, you get the sex you want and she no longer has the pressure of having to pleasure you. It should be win-win.

But if she demands sexual exclusivity, you'd better believe it's her responsibility to pleasure you, and your responsibility to pleasure her. If she doesn't think there's a problem even after you've told her there is one, if she continues to casually disregard your pleasure as an important factor in your relationship, then yes, DTMFA.

Wolf_Grin has the best response in here so far, in my opinion. I 100% agree with everything he said.

So how do you tell someone that its not working out for that reason?