Haha I did this when I was 14. Parents found the teddy though, awkward times...

On a business trip I was a little drunk and a lot horny. I was on the 5th floor of the hotel with a balcony overlooking the pool. There was a couple on the lounge chairs directly below me. She was in a bikini and was rubbing the guys crotch. Looked like he was enjoying it as the lump in his Speedo was growing. I imagined it was me and started jacking off. The guy started to play with her tits and she slipped her hand in the Speedo. That's where a blew my load out over the railing in their direction. I heard her shriek and backed up out of view. I heard her say " I think a bird just shit on me". I wanted to show her the bird but went back in my room and pissed my self laughing. Still get a stiffy thinking of that

When younger, a buddy and I used everything we could find to masturbate each other. We worked at his dad's deli, so we jerked each other off with everything there. We settled on cheese cause it felt good and we could get our hands on expired cheese to play with. We'd spent hours edging and fucking large blocks of it. I know it's weird but it was fun. Every now and then I go to the supermarket, see a wedge of swiss, buy it, and laugh, knowing that no one knows what I'm gonna do with it...

It was one of those "Hunger Fasting" things, and we were all in our late teens. We were spending the weekend at school, with no food. The group of us, about 12 or so were all in our sleeping bags, laying in a cluster around each other. It was an even mix of guys and girls, but one of the prettiest girls at school was laying beside me. Middle of the night, I woke-up and looked at her. Instant hardon... Her sleeping bag was rolled back, and her breasts were heaving in the moonlight; so of course, I started jerking-off. I even pulled the bag down and exposed myself to all as I stroked, if they had been awake to look. Well it honestly didn't take long to shoot my load, and this is the WEIRD part... I was hungry, so I scooped-up the cum off my chest and belly, and ate it; not bad! I still enjoy the taste of my cum.

I don't use my phone to look at porn a lot, but the other night I did. I was scrolling around with the stylus for my phone when I got an idea! Sounding is something I've never done before, but I got the urge so I slipped the stylus in my pee hole! It didn't hurt like I thought it would so I left it there and started jacking off! It was a pretty intense cum...might try it again sometime!

Came into my Jack and coke. What cum was left on top of the left over ice cubes was dealt with by my sucking on said cubes. Also came over ice cream and ate that. Otherwise the standard clean up from table tops, plates, glasses etc... using my tongue.

When I was a kid, I found one of my dad's used condoms under his bed. It was cold and his cum had turned watery from the night before. I rolled it back and put it over my own cock and wanked with it on. It was quite erotic. First, I knew it had been inside my mom. Second, my dad's cum lubricated my cock, and finally, it was great watching my cum mixing in with my dad's. I put it back under his bed when I'd done and often wondered if he ever reused it himself.

when I was in basic training in the military, I cuy a hole in the mattress, hollowed out some of the foam filling so my cock would fit, and would regularly go off to sleep fucking it.
When we left training, I swapped it for a spare mattress in the next block so no-one would put it down to me.

Learning to suck my own cock when I was younger was brilliant. I would dip it in chocolate sauce or yogurt for even more fun. it definitely led to my sploshing fettish which I explored when I got my own place as well as watersports and scat.
I once spunked in a condom and squeezed the contents in to my arse.
I used to make a pocket pussy out of rubber gloves and a pringles tube.
I owned a vibrating toothbrush I would fuck my arse with as well as fingers and veggies.
Most recently wearing my girlfriends clothes and wanking in them all afternoon till they were soaked with jizz.

When I was a teenager I bought like 5 lbs of sculpting clay and hollowed it out into a tight 7 inch vagina. After adding a little water and a couple of good strokes I could get it good and gooey inside and man did I ever fuck the holy hell out of that thing till I came at least a 100 times. If I left it out in the sun for about an hour it would be a really nice hot wet fuck for at least 15-20 minutes. When it got dry I just added a few drops of water to get the right consistency back. Kind of a mess to clean up afterwards with the gooey clay all over my cock but I did not mind at all.

used a vacuum a few times. Really works

Couple of odd things from my past.

Cut the ends off of a grapefruit and fucked that.

Put my cock in the end of a shop vac hose and turned it on, came pretty quickly from that.

My grandparents had a farm when I was growing up and I stayed with them during the summers to help do chores. I discovered the wonders of the milking machine used on cows, OMG!

I always wanted to try one of those. I bet it is awesome!!