Is it ever realistic to think that men and women can truly just be friends, without any hint of sexual tension or desire, whether online or in real life?

Interested in your thoughts...

Hmmmm.... This one is a bit of a noodle scratcher. There is one easy "get out of jail" card here. If the other person is simply physically unattractive, then yes, its possible. But, if she (in my case) was attractive to me, then, no, I cant do it. I can honestly say that I have masturbated in honor of every attractive woman I know. (I prefer my fantisies to be extensions of my real life, "exaggerated" scenarios) I am lucky to have some very close female friends (Close enough to go into serious detail about sex, masturbation, etc. - One in particular we are like Jerry and Elaine in Seinfield) and I know that were we to hump it would get all messy. So, to answer your question (I think) I do have close female friends, and we have never done anything, but the tension *IS* there. Maintaining the friendship requires a bit of control, not to mention a lot of jackinchat.com...

Yes.

Ohhhh I think so. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't have many male friends (except gay ones) and then I made friends with a dear younger man who is my coworker. I ONLY consider him to be my friend. He knows I'm happily married, yet one day I had to have the very tense, "Hey- quit staring at me like a little lost puppy dog and quit pretending I'm your girlfriend" discussion. It seemed to work. We are totally cool now and I'm glad because I consider him a good friend.

Maybe I'm odd, but being married- I would only go into a "friendship" thinking friendship...

Can men and women just be friends with no discussions and no tension- just simply "friends?" I'm also interested to read the responses here!

good question indeed. i do beleive that men and women can be very good friends, many of my friends past and present have been women, one friend inparticular i met online and she lived in my town. we started hangin out together and at first i perceived it as more than just friends by the way we both acted, physical stuff happened at first but no sex..then it switched gears completely to "just friends" for along time. she started dating a guy and i hated him with passion and she got mad about it, even said i was jealous..truth is i didnt trust him with good reason, he made no bones to having cheated on every woman he ever dated, he was married once and cheated on his wife also, their relationship was a sham from get go, it was set up as a temporyary arrangement...he basically wanted someone to fuck and it pissed me off. he eventually broke it off when he was done with her and she admitted i was right about him and apologized for just thinking i was being jealous. we remained friends and after sometime she started dating another guy and she was surprised when her boyfriend and i got along, he and i are still friends to this day but they are not together. anyway, after they eventually broke up she was heart broken and i tried to be a friend, was up with her all night as she cried, well..suddenly she started having feelings for me. caught me completely off guard, she was all over me but i think alchohol combined with hurt feelings and a broken heart all affected her. everytime i'd try and talk to her about what was going on shed avoid it, and over the next month we went from hangin out everyday to being somewhat distant, next thing i know shes got another new boyfriend and was trying to set me up with someone, a few months went by and she moved away and eventually married this guy (her third marriage) talked very little and ended up having a big blow out via email and did not speak again for 2, maybe 3 years. bumped into her last summer when she was in town, spoke for a few minutes, she said she would email me however i havent yet gotten one but i did not expect to anyways. i honestly just didnt care, i moved on. i did chuckle to myself though cause she was an attractive hispanic woman, slender, long black hair...i was amazed how quickly she went down hill. anyways, i know this story was a bit much but i wanted to say it so you understand why i say that it is possible for men and women to be friends, but at some point some other feelings are going to cause problems. i seriously could write a novel about me and her...a whole lot of shit happened within a couple years time.

Oh yes. Had several friends who were guys where there was no sexual tension or desire.. at least on my end!

I had a few female friends back in the day, one I had personaly feelings for (mentioned on my other thread, which I think got deleted = P), however, as for the rest I didnt. At one point I thought if their could be a connection, but when you get to know their personalities, that thought leaves quickly...at least for me = P

I've got a number of guy friends and though I think at one time or another they've all tried flirting with me we're just fairly good friends. A few I've had casual sex with, just myself and some time together with my gf too... haven't for a while tho. I'd not totally eliminate the possiblity of something happening again sometime tho either, who knows? There's no doubt a few people that I'd be very tempted to share nice things with of whichever sex.

The closer you are in terms of the amount of time you spend toegether one on one and the extent of the things you talk about the more likely there is that something will develop especially over the long run. If you are atracted to the person, then it may happen over the short run.

No. (...that should cause a ruckus.)

Yes....; I mean, No.

Wait......

No.....Um......Um......Yes.

....Pause.....

What was the question again?

I said No, because even if one side of the relationship isnt sexually interest or attracted, the other might be. Or, if either of them arent, but a third party is jealous of their relationship saying, "Damn, if it were me I'd be givin' her the business." I just dont think -- because we are social animals -- that you can have friendship without sexual tension of some sort. I dont think this is a bad thing, because its what keeps us together I think. The same goes for many other aspects like love, compassion, concern, as well as the darker things like hate and greed.

We're humans remember? Cant live without those things. (Well I could live without hate and war personally.)

Here's an interesting example: I have a co-worker that is in my opinion a wonderful woman; smart, beautiful, flirtatious, funny, sarcastic. I would love to spend a weekend with her, but have no overwhelming desire to have sex with her. I mean, if it came up i probably wouldnt say no, but honestly, it would be a great weekend just to spend time with her. I could see like skinnydipping, or taking a bath together, or having dinner. All the things you would associate with the 'warming up' activities. But I think in and of themselves, those would be enough.

I think men and women can be "just friends." It seems to me, if we were all attracted to the same person, it would be a problem. So, I think nature, evolution, society, has provided us with "filters" to help us decide what is attractive to us. We have a mental image of what we like in the opposite sex and we tend to gravitate toward that image. Not everyone likes a supermodel type, but for those who do, not everyone likes their personality. Or you might like someone's personality, but not their body type. Age is a very real filter. Most young people are not attracted sexually to an older person, but they might like to be around the fatherly/motherly or grandfatherly/grandmotherly type of personality. Younger people might appreciate older people with more experience and be attracted to them for that reason. Same-aged peers, might like to hang out with one another, males and females combined, but they may not be physically attracted to one another. Yes, I think it is possible for women and men to be attrated to one another without sexual tension, or sexual bonding.

It's very easy for me since I am committed to my wife to have female friends that are friends. I can flirt all day without real legitimate sexual tension.

I do however have a few I would certainly love to go down on and come up looking like a glazed doughnut. but so far the sanctity of my marriage is intact ;o)

If my wife is happy, I keep her... I guess.... ;o)