ive been masturbating since i was 10 years old. And i didnt get laid till i was 18. But now when i have sex i cant cum unless i jerk off. Like my body is used to it! Its really embarrassing and makes the girl wierd sometimes. Does anyone else have this problem? btw this is not with just one girl. Its with the 2 i have been with so far.

i try not masturbating for a week but i can usually only go 2 or 3 days before i cant stop thinking about it! I really want to enjoy sex damnit!

I think you might need to relax a little and not worry about it too much. I used to have the same problem, but it was just the tension of having sex with someone else, instead of with myself. So, easier said than done, but chill, relax, and don't worry too much whether you ejaculate or not, just enjoy the sensation of the sex.

You might also picture in your head the images you use when your jacking. Maybe not incredibly fair to your partner, but it might work.

Good luck with it. It will happen.

I've been with a couple women with the same problem..could have sex but not orgasm unless it was done thru manual stimulation. It had more to do with psychological conditioning then anything else. Masturbation had been the only or at least the primary source of orgasms enough the brain would only accept it that way. The good news is it can be changed. Itll take patience and understanding from both people. Integrate masturbation as part of intercourse at first and gradually move the focus from stroking to penetration. It'll happen just takes time and a good partner

How about just letting some guy fuck you ? That might get you hard.

Do ot worry about not ejaculating. Just relax, enjoy the ride, go with the flow of just having long incredible sessions. Your partner will enjoy having multiple orgasms since you last so long. Enjoy the sex, ejaculation will cum and surprise you when it does.

Sounds like desensitizing, which is quite common... You usually jerk off with far, far harder a grip than a girl's pussy can provide, even if she's really tight. This makes your erection less sensitive to the more subtle sensations a pussy gives you.

About 99% of all interpersonal relationship problems can be dealt with by going through the first step: Tell them how you feel. Tell your current girl how you feel about all this. You don't need to get all femmy, just tell her straightforward what's going on.

She might be willing to ease your frustrations by giving you head or hand until you get resensitized. It's unlikely her mouth or hands can be as vigorous as your own hand, so whatever she does will help you with your situation.

You might also consider a FleshLight, which is remarkably like pussy, in all its subtle ecstasies; it might help you get resensitized. You can practice with it without bothering your girl.

There's nothing "wrong" with your situation, and it's certainly not something that only you are going through. Talk to your partner, and consider a FleshLight. Sex is an important part of relationships, especially for younger folks. It's worth whatever effort you put into making it more enjoyable.

PS Please do use the time needed to resensitize yourself to learn how to give *her* pleasure. You'll probably discover what most men learn eventually: pleasuring your partner is as enjoyable as getting pleasured yourself, if not more so.

I had the same problem until a little while ago. I started using better lube and stroking with a gentler grip; after some time I was able to cum as usual during sex. You don't need to stop jerking off completely, just change your method!

...maybe it's because when you jack, you know all the right ways to touch yourself to cum...try telling your partner what feels good, change up positions, experiment...I'm sure you'll find a way to cum with a partner without jacking off...

I think you guys are missing something here. You can talk about desensitizing, etc. But this is almost textbook for "over masturbation sydrome". It is a psychological problem that effects alot of men (Anna-- back me up here- i know you learned it in school- it has another psychology name). What happens is this- you masturbate for so long and become so efficient at it- that you cant perform with a woman. It isnt that you cant feel it, or that you dont like it- it is all in your head. Psychologically- you have trained yourself to think: Masturbation=orgasm. You are going to have to retrain yourself to think that mastrubation/sex/oralsex all = orgasm. Since it is psychological- You should try to go without masturbating. WHen you get the urge after 2-3 days and you swear you cant wait another men-- Have sex- DONT masturbate. This will help you to get off with sex- which will eventually retrain you to be able to equate sex with orgasms mentally.
ALSO- you really really should try to get some professional help. Psychologists deal with this all the time and they know what you should do. It is seriously one of the most common psychological disorders in men under 25- so DONT FEEL STUPID talking to a professional.
You can ask for help here all you want-- but the people here (myself included) are only suggestions-- we arent experts. Seriously- please ask for some help- as there are documented cases of men who have this problem for life because they dont seek the help they need.

I think all of the suggestions here are good ones. It can be frustrating at times from not orgasming.

It sounds like you've gotten used to how your hand feels on your body that you're not used to having the different feeling of sex. You *can* retrain yourself so that you are able to orgasm from different stimulation than from just your hand.

Perhaps you might invest in a fleshlight or other sex toy so that you have something other than your hand to stimulate you.

If it becomes an issue to the point where it severely hampers your sex life, please consider talking to a medical doctor about this or hell, even call Sue Johanson on "Talk Sex". She also has a lot of wonderful resources on her website.

I love sue johanson. kinda scary having a grandmother describe giving a blowjob in detail- but she would offer great advice to you about this.

wow! thats alot of responses! I think a good battle plan would to stop jerking off and just keep having sex till i cum. I mean the tension will build up soo high. i wont be able to hold it back.

Tantra sexuality and philosophy teaches one to explore senuality on another level spiritually and energetically...
Our Ego's sometimes give way to self (ish) gratification and mindsets. Trusting yourself and your partner is a part of erotica. Expanding your choices may add to the pleasure you have with yourself and your partner...
http://www.tantra.co.nz/
Explore beyond your own limitations...
An Open Mind is required...
Enjoyment of the other is part of the pleasure...
Alistoria~