Do any of you get jealous (or admit that you get jealous) of one of your chat partners chatting with others? Why do you think that is and how do you deal with it? Thanks!

Now I know a whole bunch of people will respond and say chat is chat, it's not real life, it doesn't mean anything blah blah blah. I guess I want to hear from people who actually have feelings of some sort related to their chat friends.

I think I can safely say that I've occasionally felt a quick flash of what can only be described as "jealousy." A momentary burst of, "Well...they must enjoy chatting with Person X more than me. I must not measure up." But, it is a brief and fleeting moment, as I remind myself, that not only do I chat with more than one person (even if there's a select one or two that I especially enjoy doing it with), but also that, despite logging in here, the chat room, or Yahoo, that I might not always feel like playing.

So, yeah...there's a bit of an attachment to that one or two favorites, and it's always disappointing if, for whatever reason, we don't play. And, there can be a twinge of jealousy there...but, I also try to remain realistic. And, looking at it purely objectively...that twinge of jealousy is a sign that you're "clicking" with that person when you do chat & play.

Hey Rod, I second that motion. You have pretty much described my feelings as well. But, somehow, life goes on.

Honestly it's chat, who gives a shit. You are never going to meet these people usually, so if someone want's to talk to someone else let them and enjoy what you are doing.

And there it is, the expected response....Yes I know some people view things that way, but I'd love to hear from the people who feel otherwise also.

Right. And, that's not to say that, for those of us who occasionally feel that twinge, that it happens with EVERY person we ever chat with. There are some folks who are quite fun to chat with, and you may even do it fairly frequently. But, with some folks, there's that certain undefinable something that makes you anticipate chatting with them...you're excited to see they're on, whether you chat or *ahem* "chat" with them on that occasion. Meanwhile there are others that - to be blunt - you see online and basically say, "OK...so-and-so is on. They're always good for getting off."

Sure...you're probably never going to meet even those "special few" in person. But then, you don't expect to. That has nothing to do with whether or not you enjoy their online company.

I'm married, as I assume some of you are. Anyone I chat with can only be a friend. Therefore the same rules when you were a kid apply. They have a right to have as many friends as they want. There are no vows. I felt jealous when my best friend hung out with kids who were skateboarders rather than sitting indoors playing video games with me. I felt the same way when my high school friends got girlfriends and their weekends stopped including me. Superbad is a really funny look at that friendship dynamic.

It's OK and natural to feel that way, but it's a bad sign that must be dealt with. You need to deal with it internally before those negative emotions hurt your friendship. If your friendship turns into a romance and you feel the need for exclusivity, you should probably become more than chat partners. If you're already in a relationship, you should question your feelings for this friend as you may be developing feelings that are more appropriate for your significant other than someone know only online.

A smart friend once told me that she maintains multiple online friendships that fulfill many different needs. It's more probable that your friend is doing the same and augmenting your friendship to look for something that you cannot provide, through no fault of your own, rather than phasing you out.

There have been times Secret when I get jealous of the younger women on here. It's usually a temporary thing and I think it's just natural if you get a connection going with the people you chat with. My chats aren't limited simply cyber-sex. Many don't include discussions of sex at all. Sometimes I just listen to what someone has to say in a non-judgemental fashion. That's the way I'm made, I do the same thing in real life relationships. As long as the feeling goes away I know I'm still grounded in reality and that I know this is a chat room and people have lives that don't include those that are here.

As we have seen, people come and people go, for a variety of reasons. It is possible that women are more prone to developing something more than the equivalent of a "one-night" stand online than many (but certainly not All) men.

I have my special friends on here, some I see often, some not so often. Whether they want to chat with me or not is their decision and if I'm no longer inclined to chat with someone I'll politely let them know too.

Yeah....maybe the 'who cares' attitude can serve me best....?

I agree with Rod with one addition. As there is a huge "gratification now" element to cybering, if a regular someone stops contact, then there is the feelings that he mentions (of being "dropped" ) , but if contact is established from time to time, then that persons activity with others doesnt matter at all, and in fact might help, as they will probably have "honed" their cyber skills!

Totally different to real life

I would assume its the same with any conversation, makes you feel that you are not good enough to get 100% of the attention!

When I first read this post i thought it was a strange notion... I mean everybody chats with many different people for different reasons. Its all good fun. I was surprised when this happened to me recently. I'm still not sure why it happened but figured the best way to deal with it was to cut back on the chat. There are so many fun and interesting people to enjoy!

To each his own. Personally, chat jealous is the equivalent of a man getting his feelings hurt by his blow up doll. He doesn't call her or take her out of the closet for a few days. Then, one day he is so horny. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he was wrong to get angry with her. So, he forgives her. Takes her to bed, puts in a little more air into her. They make love and all is forgiven. Life is good again.

Well unless you only chat with inanimate objects that can't talk back, chat jealousy is not like your blow up doll analogy. I assume most people chat with another live person, who may have real feelings, and a real personality, and sometimes in the real world, people get their feelings hurt or feel jealous. Doesn't mean you have to think it's right to happen, but it certainly does happen to some people. Funny story above though...

It depends on what you want from the relationship...just a chat friend or more. If it's just a friend that you can talk to, cam with, etc... then it shouldnt matter. If you want more than that, then yes I can see how jealousy would creep in.