Hi guys:

I'm wondering what's your favorite euphemisms for Masturbation. Some of them are very funny.

Taking matter into own hands
A date with Pamela Handerson
Spanking the monkey ... and so on.

I know there are tons of it, but which of them is your favorite ?

PD: sorry for the double post. I tried to post it here, but I posted on another forum. How can I delete a post/thread ?

Choking the chicken
Beating your meat
Fucking Mrs hand and her 5 daughters
Letting your meat loaf
Pounding pud

MY all time fav is still: JACKING OFF

Ham Shank
Thomas the Tank
knocking one out
visiting Mrs Handy and her 5 lovely daughters (think about it)

Rub one out
Pull one off
Jerk off

Jacking off, or wanking

upending the reservoir of generational juice

Monkey Business

Beating the Bishop

hahhahahaa, some are really funny, but seriously, what expression do you use regularly with friends or wife/gf ?

"Masturbation", "masturbating", "masturbator" are words in themselves that are a genuine serious big turn-on for me, written or spoken.
"Tossing off" is my private preferred phrase I use in my head.
"Playing with myself" to tell others what I am/was doing and "Please play with me" when asking another to masturbate me.

It has to be wank or masturbation. Masturbation sounds better if said with a posh accent.

Taking matters into my own hands.

choking the bishop

chafing the carrot

saying "hi" to my monster

I actually prefer a more sophisticated way to say it : "onanism".

I'm pretty plain jane. I just call it beating off, jerking off, or masturbating.