*I had to edit this post because it was wayyy too specific*

Hi,

So I've noticed that it is a common occurrence for two guys to jack off together, and really I didn't realize so man guys do this together. I know it doesn't mean you are gay because you like to jack with another dude but I also don't quite understand it... if you wouldn't mind explaining it to me, and I'll explain why.

I have a chat friend (we'll call him Jim) who I've known for... wow about 15 years, only on-line. Through all my life changes and absences from being on-line I've always stayed connected with Jim. Jim makes me come faster than anyone I know, in real life or not.

Jim is sorta like a lover I've never met.

So my point- a while ago Jim admitted he has had some MM encounters in the past and thinks about them all the time.

It takes some getting used to... Jim seems to be a pussy-loving hard-core male through and through but when he's moaning in my ear on the phone he has made comments about this other man. I dunno- it doesn't bother me at all, I just don't GET it. There is such a stigma against "being gay" out there- and I have this total disconnect when I try to imagine a guy like Jim, who clearly is into chicks and has a long-term GF, and who would meet me in a hot second for some long-anticipated action... is so hot for cock too.

Now that he has shared this with me, and I am his one source for purging his sexual fantasies, he likes to discuss it a lot. Recently I told him I don't always like it- simply because I don't feel as special anymore! I want his arousal when we chat to be about us, not the "three" of us. Not all the time... sometimes a lady wants to here "Oh god I need to fuck YOU," not, "I want him."

So please- explain this to me. This MM thing. How many of you just like the pleasure? Or is it... more than that? Do you desire actual sex with another man? Are there emotions involved- like do you wanna kiss him too? Jim wants to take this guy's cock in his mouth and he really likes watching guys stroke on the web (we have a lot in common.)

I just need help understanding this. Explain away if you so choose.

Thanks.

There are as many different reasons for men to enjoy getting off with another guy as there are men!

There's no way of knowing why your friend is turned on by the idea; he may not even fully understand it himself. But I will suggest two possibilities:

One, some guys get turned on by stuff that is just a little bit over the line. Stuff that they shouldn't be doing, even if there's really nothing wrong with it. Since your friend seems to be essentially straight, maybe he gets turned on by the though of bending the rules this way, by thinking about something that is just a little bit "forbidden".

Two, a lot of us get a real erotic charge out of past experiences that were unusual or unique. At college age most of us are having sexual experiences which we will remember forever, and some of us will jack off to those memories. So it's possible that your friend had a really great orgasm during that threesome and he wants to cum that good again.

It's also possible that he just enjoys the fantasy, but might not enjoy it quite as much if it happened.

I applaud you for telling him that you don't always like it when he talks about it with you...good communication is important in an ongoing sexual friendship/relationship. Maybe you can accommodate his fantasy now and then, with the understanding that he will make you his sole focus other times.

Thanks for the honest response! I was, of course, polite when I asked him if we can sometimes just keep it "us." He understood. I think it is hard for him to hold back, and I really don't mind as long as he realizes this is as much about me as it is him. "Jim" and I have never really ever had an "emotional" connection, and it must stay that way. Even asking him that kinda put a small crack in our unemotional foundation and I've noticed a slight change in him, not in a bad way, just different- like he took my "girly emotions" into consideration for once instead of just my arousal.

Yeah, it's weird.

I can totally imagine laying in bed with another woman and wanting to masturbate with her... even kiss her so I can understand the desire. Society has made that so... acceptable as a "turn on" that WW seems almost normal. MM still seems like... "Wait a second here," which is such a total double standard.

Hell- I think we should all just masturbate together to our little hearts' desires!

I wouldn't pretend to understand why one person might have feelings for another of the same sex....which are then associated with erotic encounters with a third. But I thought that JackOfficer offered some thoughtful ideas.

But as for the more general question of men jerking with other men, I could offer my own feelings and experiences. I enjoy masturbating with other guys. It's always been a great turnon for me to get naked with a dude, get aroused, and cum together. Over the years, it has come to involve more and more actual physical contact with my jackoff bud. But it's never involved any kind of emotional feelings....it's just been about sharing the feelings in our cocks as we're aroused and having orgasms.

My best friend from grade school and I discovered masturbation at about the same time. It just seemed natural to get together....sort of the "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours" kind of thing. We would share any porn we could find, and watch our cocks shoot cum. As time passed, we would get completely naked, and started touching each other's cocks during jackoff sessions. We gave each other our first blow jobs. Physical contact never went further than that. We found girls at about the same time, and enjoyed telling each other about making out and getting laid.

I've had three different jackoff buds at one time or another. It's never involved anything more than a turnon about jacking with another guy, sometimes with mutual touching and, occasionally, oral contact.

Same sex contact of any kind may be offensive to some people. It does seem to me there is a double standard. Female to female contact is a mainstay of straight porn. Almost all str8 porn flicks have a F/F scene, and guys seem to get off on it. Many of those same gays would be offended at a male to male scene in the movie. So F/F sex is OK, even if you're str8...a real turnon. But M/M contact? Nah, you gotta be "gay" to enjoy seeing anything like that.

Same sex contact is by all means no offensive to me. Just for the record. And I also think M/M sex is totally arousing.

Ah ... welcome to the bisexual world where all sex is good, both with same sex and/or opposite sex.

I never really understood why people are into F/F porn. It doesn't interest me. To me if you act on things like oral you are no longer straight, you are bisexual or at least bi-curious. Either way it's a concious deliberate choice. For anyone that still feels they are straight I would feel sorry for them but if that is what they wanna believe and they are happy then there isn't a real need to criticsize. I would say live and let live. Though I don't feel you can have your cake and eat it too. I think it brings up the question. I've wondered about it. Is it nature or nuture? Were you predisposed to it or was it influence? Did you know from an early age(straight, bi, gay, inbetween?) vs. how you were raised and what was your environment, or who your friends were, and what you have been exposed to growing up and now? Occasions of plain curiosity or times when you got drunk?

The labels "bi" "Str8" "gay" "curious" are all irrelevant. The bottom line is that all human beings at some level are at least a little bit "bi." I had a sociology professor explain it like this: Sexuality is a continuum from 1 to 10 with 1 being absolutely str8 and 10 being absolutely gay. There are VERY few (if any) 1s and 10s in this world. Most people are somewhere between a 2 and a 9. Some are 2s, some are 5s, some are 9s, but the bottom line is when the lights are out, you don't really care who your partner is, you just want to feel good. And to answer your question, it's almost all NATURE. Does anyone really raise their kids to be gay? We are sexual beings and we just want to have sex. Some people are more open than others, and that part is NURTURE. They've been conditioned to repress their NATURAL sex drive.

Back in ancient times (when Greece was a power nation, the toughest guys around were the Spartans. They routinely engaged in man-to-man sex with their buddies. They were allowed to enjoy everything except "penetration", which was reserved for their wives. They didn't even have a word for homosexuality or bisexuality - getting off was just thought of as GREAT and it also helped them bond with each other. When we because civilized (and became Christians/Muslims/Jews, etc.) we invented words for these actions and defined them as "No. No's". We've come a long way----

Like you said, there's a stigma against male on male sexual acts. This clouds your thoughts in thinking that a perfectly straight male would have the desire for interactions with another male. In all actuality, it's completely natural and should be embraced. Remember the Spartan's who were known for their "homosexual" acts. They were known as being "homosexual" yet they still reproduced with women.. I think they just liked to have fun and pop a nut.