So I finally found a guy on Doublelist local who could host.
Hesitated but contacted him and went. I had been sick for a couple of weeks with something my doc says was a touch of pneumonia. Antibiotics took care of it. So after a bit more than a week I felt OK to explore something I had not done.
He answered the door nude. Looked about my age.
I undress. We touch. He goes down on me. Hard at first and then got soft. He gets mad and tells me I should leave. I apologize and left. He said maybe that is just not my thing.
OK I was doing it to see if it was. I like girls and go to massage parlors for happy endings with naked girls. Never had an issue.
There is more to my story as far as exploring but this was a first just man on man.
Is he right? Did I find out it is not my thing?
I still love shemales and most any kind of porn
Pretty dissappointed in my performance and has me very hesitant about another meetup with a different guy not wanting to fail miserably again.
I figured I might get the straightest answers on this site and this forum in particular.
Your thoughts my friends?

The guy was a dick (pun intended). You were obviously nervous and that can wreak havoc on erections. I'd say don't get discouraged.

I suppose it COULD be that it isnt your thing, but more likely that his overly aggressive style put you off. I like messing around with guys and Im pretty sure I wouldnt have enjoyed what youre describing, especially as the first experience. Try again if it still is something that interests you, and be upfront with it being the first time. Id steer clear of the posts talking about blow and go or anything like that. I know it isnt particularly easy to be very picky on DL or whatever, but I recommend holding out until you come across one that sounds like a good fit. Or even post your own.

What a rude bastard. If I were to have the luck to be in that situation, and my JO bud went soft, I would have him play with my cock, stroke me and make me hard and cum. And if the jo bud were not hard from that then I would play, tease, massage, tickle, flick, lick and manipulate his cock until he was rock hard.

If not, try again another day.

My guess is that because of your prior illness that contributed to you not staying hard.

If someone answered the door nude and expected me to perform on demand on the first meeting, I think I would have got a soft dick too.

What you need for your first time is someone who is prepared to get to know you a little first so you've got a degree of comfort, trust, and respect. And maybe then if there's chemistry you get your dicks out and see how it goes from there.

The guy you met was an arsehole so best not to attempt a second meeting.
All the best!

not for nothing but id enjoy playing with that dick of yours hard or soft. he just seemed impatient.

Yeah. Arseholism is a major turn off. And answering the door naked is kind of shitty too.

I played with guys on college, and I miss it now, and if I were to try what you did, i'd be worried about performance too.

Dont be discouraged.

I did once pass messages with a guy here with a view to hooking up. The messages made me feel like we were compatible, but I suggested we skype first, to check for chemistry. Im glad I did. He barked instructions at me. *NOT* my scene...

Perhaps this guy has had some experience of meeting others who say that they can get hard, but really can't. You guys are kinda at that age, you know. Not that that justifies his rude behavior though...

Were you excited, but just went limp? Or were you just not feeling it? Do you think he was moving too quickly?

More than likely, it was nerves and perhaps everything wasn't completely back to normal for you yet with your recent illness.

If I were you, I wouldn't give up yet. Pass on this guy, but keep on looking. Once you've had a successful meetup, then you can decide if it's "for you" or not. Or maybe it'll take a few tries to figure things out. Either way, don't get down on yourself. Stay positive.

First off, you didn't fail, he did. I will always remember my first time with a woman. I was only 17 and she was in her 20s and very aggressive. I couldn't get it up and was honestly scared of her. Now much later in life, at 50 years old, I was with a guy for the first time for real and was never as hard. Consider it the right timing and this time of yours may not have been the right timing. Certainly it wasn't the right guy.

Guys are great and the right guy is the best. Don't give up.

That's too bad he was so rude about you losing your erection. There are plenty of guys out there (myself included) who have trouble getting off from a blowjob alone. It can work for me, but I have to be comfortable and their technique has to be just right.

I had one jacking bud that took quite a while to bone up. I could tell he was a little embarrassed about it, but I told him not to worry and take his time. Eventually his dick got hard and he was able to fire off an impressive cumshot.

Thanks guys
He was a jerk no doubt
Wish it had been with one of you instead but of course none of you are anywhere close to me
The next guy I contacted seemed a lot nicer in responses but said he as mostly a blow and go so thanks to the advice to pass on that

I'll second this opinion. I've been on both sides of this equation before, and I'd never kick someone out so quickly. Your host was a dick. Don't give up, though ... there are plenty of nice, horny guys out there who are willing to play patiently.

Update. I just wrote a long explanation and it got erased because it said I was not signed in. I thought I was but I guess I am an idiot.
In summary:
I went to an Asian Massage Parlor (females)
One hour, HJ and happy ending while stroking her pussy.
The went to the Asian Male Masseur I had visited a couple years ago. 90 minutes. Mutual oral. Erection doing fine. He tried to enter me anally. Lots of Pain and erection gone.
Patient move from table to bed. He strokes me with lube and then goes in again. Ouch. But two or three strokes he pulled out and came on my side. Tried oral again on me but ended up putting mu hand on my cock to finish myself which I did with his face inches away.
Then a visit to an Asian escort. Oral and then actual sex. Erection faded. She finished me by hand. 30 minutes and out the door. Not great.
Went home and JOed to porn for a long time. All good.
So where the hell does that put me.
At least the plumbing is working. My profile pick is me. I am OK with what I have and still feel like my exploration has not proven definitive. Other than I know I don't like anal sex. So there is that. Which I kinda figured but this is an exploration right?
Thoughts, advice and comments?

There may be underlying issues with being intimate (physically and maybe otherwise?) with other people. Solo sex is great, but sometimes it can get to a point where it becomes a substitute for dealing with other things. You can draw a parallel to someone who feels a little looser at a party after a drink or two as opposed to someone who needs to drink in order to push past deeper issues. It's easier to have a jack off session than to try to understand why you have performance issues. I've been there myself.

Therapy could be a good idea for this.

Another possibility is the difference between the porn that you enjoy and the people that you're meeting for sex, paid or otherwise. Humans just can't compare to the degree and type of porn that you can select at will. I'm not saying that porn is unhealthy, but how you consume it can be. I'm also not saying that your porn habits are unhealthy. I'm just mentioning this possibility since you described the sex in vivid detail without describing the porn.

I guess the last question is, what is your experience during non-paid encounters such as a passionate fling or actual relationship? Do you have performance issues there, too? You don't have to answer publicly, by the way. It's more for you. If you have issues there, too, then therapy would be helpful. There'd likely be something way deeper than sex and possibly deeper than even intimacy issues.

Either way, best of luck!