Let me preface this by saying this is not a complaint about my wife. I'm just hoping to get some insight.

Go to any online chat room and invariably it is full of men like me, in their 50s, horny, married and yet they've lost connection to their partners.

Why? For me throughout most of my marriage I had a lower sex drive than my wife did. But with the onset of menopause that has completely changed. If and when we do have sex, she raves about how great she feels the next day, yet rarely initiates sex and will turn me down if I ask 95 times out of 100.

I've been extremely horn lately, in late August I was working in an empty house ( an empty house I own, lol.) and took a break, got on my phone for some inspiration and banged out a nice load ( it's on my profile link). When I got home, my wife asks me if I'd like a handjob. I rarely cum everyday and almost never twice per day ( but I have JOd 5x in a day). I said sure! She laid me down got my lube out and started stroking my cock, playing with my balls. She was fully clothed and I was completely naked. She proceeded to edge me to the brink of orgasm and then backing off, over and over. It was totally her idea, I had never discussed my penchant for edging with her.

I finally blew an even bigger load than the morning, hitting my face with one rope. When I got done I begged her to do this again, I'd do anything she wanted. I even told her she could just watch me JO myself. Please let's not got back to the lack of sex we'd been experiencing for so many years,

Well I think you can guess where the story goes from here. August was the last time we were intimate. Why is that ? I know menopause has been hard on her, her periods are brutal. She has a stressful job that saps her energy ( as do I)

But how can I bridge the divide? Ladies please chime in

What you did to get her in the beginning is what it takes to keep her.

Well I've been married for 30 years and my wife has never done that! Even when we were both horned up 20-somethings.

As for how to fix it, I have no idea. I can't even talk to my wife about what I really want, never have. I just take care of myself sexually if I want to. Only occasionally do we try to fool around and even then I end up masturbating afterwards because sex doesn't satisfy me.

She lost interest in an active sex life years ago and I stopped caring.

The short answer to your question is that at menopause the ovaries shut down, and stop sending eggs out to await fertilisation.

They also stop producing the female sex hormone, Estrogen. The same as how our testicles produce Testosterone.

No sex hormoes means no libido, and many or most wives lose the desire for sex. Many will make the effort to satisfy their husbands urges and fake it.

My last fuck was over 27 years ago and I have been masturbating to keep it all under control ever since. Wife knows and fully supports that.

I watch porn on the PC regularly and masturbate there, under the shower, or anywhere that I like.

Can women, after menopause, keep their sexual desire by rubbing the clitoris?

Not sure about 'keep' but most women who stimulate their clitoris will get an orgasm if they complete the act.

Twice while visiting an elderly Aunt in a nursing home I was witness to a woman well over 80 who was obviously masturbating, even though she seemed half asleep.

Nothing for me since valentines!.

Mother Natures little sense of humor!

Another vote here for menopause and the hormonal shifts that come with it. A big signal is in the middle of a middle of the night hot flash she starts referring to you as "a man" i.e. species representative, not by your name, and then a rant follows about "men". That was usually my signal that no morning pussy would be forthcoming, lol.

and this is why you should never get married!

I have been married over 60 years and we have not had intercourse for a long time now. My wife has severe arthritis and cannot stand being touched. I have taken testosterone for many years and still do solo sex. Such is life.

seems like a common issue.. our sex has been dwindling down to maybe 2 times a year and nothing like we used to have... no oral and no lingerie.. just missionary ... so been taking care of myself here like others

Been with my wife for over 41 years. Last time we fucked was 10 years ago that I can remember. The last time she sucked me was around 12 years ago and the last time she wore a skirt or dress with garter bet and stockings and heels and never any panties was around 15 years ago. Yep 2 things started happening 15 years ago, one she started menopause and was loosing interest in sex just going though the motions. She all so needed lube and never needed it before. 2 I started having hard-on issues found out I had very low testosterone levels. My ED was solved with injections every 2 weeks but hers not so lucky. I am ashamed to admit that I turned to other married guys in the same boat. There are 5 of us we get together once a week to play poker so our wife's think. One of them owns a car service garage and over it has a so called man cave. Every Sunday around 3 pm we meet to watch porn get naked and have sex with each other. I never thought I would enjoy receiving anal as much as I do. The rest of the time look at porn and jerk-off.

For my wife it was MENOPAUSE! Been 13 years since we has sex! 15 years since she sucked my cock last!

Most women (not all) use sex as a tool to get what they really want. Marriage, a baby, security, etc. Once they have that, there is no reason to have sex anymore. My wife seldom fucks me. We have been married nearly 25 years. The other day she sucked my dick and fucked me then the next day sends me a real estate listing for a house she wants to buy.

See how that works?