Ok, so somehow, I've never in my life been to a strip club, and I'm thinking of changing that.

I am curious what to expect - I get that the girls are going to be naked, so not that - but things like how the cover charge is handled, is it kosher to interact with the other patrons or more polite to ignore one another, is it all 'no-touchy' unless you're tipping (and even then, fingertips only, incidental contact?) can you order a coke or a beer for the drink minimum, and so on. I just don't want to be the obvious 'new' guy.

Your instincts are pretty much right on the money.

Cover charge is handled at the door, like anyplace else. There's someone at the door to collect it.

I've never been on my own, so my interaction with other patrons is generally limited to the rest of my group. But, I've seen people strike up conversations. As with any public setting like that, others receptiveness to that will depend on the individual.

Generally speaking, very light touching (fingertips, like you said), is acceptable, but not on breasts/nipples. Each club determines how strictly to enforce those rules, and some dancers - especially if you become something of a regular to them - may turn a blind eye to a little more contact. (Wife and I have a favorite that we've even had "vanilla" interactions with outside the club, and we're allowed by her to, say, hold her hips and such during a lap dance.)

Yes, a Coke or beer counts as a purchase (I don't drink, so mine's always Coke...never had a problem.).

FYI, as a new guy - if you get a lap dance, the lap dance charge is per song. So, if you answer "yes" to the question of whether or not you want her to keep going after the first song ends, you can rack up quite a tab. (Ex. If it's $20 per lap dance, and you let her go for 6 songs, you're on the hook for $120.)

And, finally, in the words of Mr. Chris Rock, "No matter what a stripper tells you, there's no sex in the Champagne Room. None. Oh, there's champagne in the Champagne Room. But you don't want champagne, you want sex. And there's no sex in the Champagne Room."

Have fun!

Re touching: over here in the UK I've found any contact is very much on HER terms. You might get a nipple brushing your cheek or the tip of your nose, although the 'lap' element will be full contact.

Funny story, I was in a club one night enjoying a 'hands by your sides' dance and as she leant right back over my lap she lost her balance and collapsed backwards on me. I instinctively grabbed her to stop her falling on the floor - simultaneously i saw my friend covering his eyes and the security guy heading my way!!! Happily she laughed it off and waved him back and I was ok. Spoiled the moment a little though.
Not even sure where i touched her, just grabbed hold before she went over.

Oh and another thing - don't use coins... another low point, cobbling together every note and coin we had, which the girl poured down her knee boot.......

Very much the "her terms" thing. The club (or city) may have guidelines, but ultimately the buck stops with the woman herself.

Funny story about the fall.

We had a favorite dancer one time who was hanging out at our group's table. It was around Halloween, so they had costumes. She was in a little sailor suit. Sitting on my lap, she put the hat on my head. One of the people with us asked her permission for a pic of it. One of the waitresses came over in full, "No photography in the club!" mode, and our dancer waved her off, telling her she gave her OK, and we were in a spot that no other customers could be seen in the background.

Your experience is based on what you expect out of your first visit at a SC. If you're wanting to play, expect to pay a lot and prepare to end up with blueballs. If you go in there to have fun, you'll probably have a good time. At the end of the day, dancers are women who liked to be talked to rather than grabbed or cajoled into doing something for you because you have $$. Some decency, common sense and knowing where the bouncers are will help out your cause.

Tongue in cheek comment by Chris Rock I'm guessing. I've known that sex does happen in SCs and I myself have gotten handies before at the very least. Your Mileage May Vary, YMMV as we like to say.

Very much this.

And, yeah, the Chris Rock thing is the hook of his parody of "The Sunscreen Song" (or whatever it was called).

http://https://youtu.be/j9yBPcn8IqU

Its been a while since I have been to strip club but when I went there was touching
I have sucked on tits got a foot job through my pants had girls grind me until I cum
These were done during lap dances that are $20 per song and hidden in back of club
Some girls will do more but have to pay extra for BJs or HJs

I'm pretty sure your experience may vary depending on a club you'll go to. Just avoid these that do scams, as it's (at least in Europe) quite common in this business, to the extent of drugging customers and making them pay gigantic bills.

On the other hand, other things, like "no touching rule" also changes from place to place, and from dacer to dancer I believe. Been to a club in Prague, where lap dance was 40 eur, and before that, officially at the counter I was offered "touching wherever you like, without putting fingers inside - additioanl 20"

Been a few times glad I went but no desire to go back

It really does vary from city to city, but also club to club.

I have had bouncers address me for just putting my hand on a girl's hip so she wouldn't fall while dancing.
I've also had girl's grab my dick through my pants while I sucked on her nipple.

I love the Chris Rock bit, but it falls under the same "where you are" criteria.

I have seen EVERYTHING in the Champagne room.

Last club I went to, I could touch whatever I wanted. It was only topless, but I rubbed her pussy and not a word from anyone. This club was the raunchiest, no rules joint I've ever been to. Girl asked me if I wanted to go upstairs. I asked what we could do there. She said "whatever you want, it's more private". When I turned her down, she said she had a room at the hotel across the street, if I wanted to "hook up" $$$. Our group of four had six different hotel offers that night.

My advice for a first-timer:
Better to go in a group. Guys flying solo creep the girls out.
When the girl starts dancing on your lap, ASK her what is ok to do. She will tell you everytime. Also, tell her that if you cross the line to please say something to you right away.

PM me if you have more questions.

Have fun!

Most clubs ur gonna get a lap dance and no real touching, its all a tease and u spend more then u should, so have a set limit. And never if she says ill meet u at a hotel, and says u half to pay up front, never do that, all a scam and she never shows up.

Gentlemen, thank you! This has been the next-best thing to having someone take me there and show me the ropes..without the awkwardness of having someone take me there and show me the ropes