Thanks for considering my experience and offering your suggestions. Isn't it a bit too late to start my sex life at 41? Who is the world of gays that have dozens of partners per month would want me?

Therapy sorta scares me. Up until 1972, homosexuality was deemed a mental disorder in the gay guys were asked to get help with their "problem" of same sex attraction. Now everything is suddenly different?

Even though I have serious doubts, I don't want to slam the door on conservative Christianity and catholicism, just because it doesn't agree with what makes my cock hard when I masturbate. I know there are alot of gay affirming churches, but I feel they just delete everything in the Bible they don't like just to let the whole gay movement override things.

Politically, I could never join the gays. I don't agree with their ideas. I did vote for gay marraige in California.

I am afraid of losing my friends that believe homosexuality is sinful. I have a few gay friends who would probably stick by me, but I don't want to risk losing friends I have had since high school over a decision to be openly gay.

My age is also a big factor. I knew if I got old enough I would be so repulsive to gays that turn me on, that I wouldn't have to worry about getting into the habit of using guys for sexual release.

Perhaps my biggest reason for not coming out and try to find guys who would be with me is that I would never allow anal sex to be part of my life. To me it is a nauseating idea that I could never find arousing. My gay friends laugh at me, because I sorta want to be open and masturbate with guys; however, I don't want to submit to being fucked in the ass or have to put my cock in a nother guy's shithole.

I wake up horrified every day. I am attracted to guys. Every since I was 8 and learned to play with my dick I have been aroused by young hot men, just as I am today. It just feels wrong. Maybe it's my Christian upbringing. I masturbate every day and edge for hours, but afterwards I think of how I let my adoptive parents down. They had such high hopes for me to get married and have grandchildren. Instead, I hid from the world. I played the piano really well, got good grades in school, landed a nice job. Well, I am almost 42 now, and still a virgin. I have never tried to date women. It would only be a lie. I guess all there is for me now is masturbation and wishing there was some sort of an exit from this existence. Edging for hours is an amazing therapeutic drug that makes me imaging what it would be like to be loved and touched by a hot guy...and of course to touch him. Anal sex terrifies and horrifies me. Since my parents died I have told my gay friends about my feelings, but they cannot relate. They have lots of sex every week and can't relate. I just feel doomed to just sit and wait for life to be over with. I'm screwed. Game over!

I didn't know there were gay clubs.

I'm content with not getting sex or relationships with other people. I realize there are lots of guys out there that solo sex is the closest intimacy they will get.

I think the best thing about this problem is that I am realizing my friendships with my gay friends is suffering. I can be a real bitch when I am not "the fairest of them all".

Thanks so much for your responses.

I masturbate so much I think I have idealized the fantasy and forgotten what it is like to want real physical contact or even consider the possibility of being touched myself.

Hey guys, it's the 41 year old closetted virgin again.

I love to jerk off. I have a blast edging for hours and have sort of found my sexual entertaintment fulfilling to a certain degree.

However, I have some younger friends that are gay and they get to enjoy sex with real people, not just images and porn videos. When I hear they have met somebody new or they tell me how sexually active they are, it's like a poison to me. I just feel so defective and depressed until I eventually reallize I am a good friend and a valuable person again.

My friends find my envy annoying, so I need to get a clue and learn to be content with solo sex.

What do you guys think?

It makes me cum so fast to hear another guy getting of while he is stroking his cock while I stroke mine!

Albolene is the best and only lube for the best jerkoff experience. One dab lasts for hours, and you can get this "moisturizing cleanser" at any drug store makeup section.

100% of my orgasms are from jerking off. Never even had a wet dream.

I have never been married. I am single. I'm gay but never tried anything with guys other than a little mutual masturbation, kissing, and touching cocks. I'm a virgin.

Thanks guys

To be naked in front of other men without fear. To be able to touch another guy and see him be aroused. These are the things that I idolize in hot gay or bi men.

However, I'm a virgin. And I use fantasy to drain my cock during hours of edging and fantasy play. It just would be awesome to actually experience sex or a nice jerkoff session with a another guy.

I would jerkoff with Phelps if he didn't talk

My fantasy has always been to jerk off with olympic divers and to hump their washboard abs with my hands firmly groping their pecs and deltoids.

I wish I had the experience of jerking off in a lockerroom, showers, or sauna. Sounds amazing and I dream about it often.

I feel like I haven't jerked off unless I spent at least an hour with my dick fully hard and tease it until I am good and ready to empty my full load. I usually continue after orgasm with another load until my jizz cums clear.

I'm 5.25" cut and would love to make your lovely cock explode!

I want to feel a big hard cock like that against me. I want to feel it get even more stiff while it humps against my body. Then I want to be cock against cock and really feel the precum dripping down and the throbbing getting more and more intense.

I have been extremely curious about actually TRYING stuff with guys. I have always jerked off to images of shirtless hot men, but the actually feeling of having my cock humping another guy, being cock to cock with him, or just jerking off together must be so much better than just jerking off alone and thinking about it. It's not very likely I ever will though, because I'm 41, and it just seems to late to start.